How to Handle Favoritism in the Workplace
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Favoritism in the workplace can feel like a punch in the gut.
It’s one of those workplace dynamics that can leave people feeling undervalued, overlooked, and even demoralized.
Whether it’s a boss giving preferential treatment to one employee or an entire team being divided by favoritism, it can cause tension, disrupt team morale, and even lead to higher turnover rates.
If you’ve ever experienced or witnessed favoritism at work, you know how toxic it can be for everyone involved.
But don’t worry, all hope is not lost!
There are ways to handle favoritism and restore balance in the workplace.
In this article, we’ll explore what favoritism looks like, why it happens, and, most importantly, how to deal with it effectively.
What is Favoritism in the Workplace?
Favoritism in the workplace occurs when certain employees receive preferential treatment over others, often based on personal relationships rather than job performance.
This can manifest in various ways, such as one person always getting the best assignments, receiving promotions without merit, or being given more flexibility or attention than others.
While it’s natural for people to gravitate toward certain individuals, favoritism becomes an issue when it leads to unequal opportunities and undermines fairness.
Common Signs of Favoritism:
Unequal Workloads: One person consistently gets the easy or high-profile projects, while others are stuck with less rewarding tasks.
Promotion Bias: Promotions or raises go to the same person or group of people, even if others have equal or better qualifications.
Inconsistent Feedback: Some employees receive frequent praise or recognition, while others are rarely acknowledged, no matter their performance.
Exclusion: Employees who aren’t favored might be left out of meetings, events, or important discussions.
Personal Relationships Influence Decisions: It’s not uncommon for bosses to play favorites based on personal chemistry rather than professional qualifications.
Why Does Favoritism Happen?
Before diving into how to handle favoritism, it’s essential to understand why it happens in the first place.
While it’s never fair, there are often underlying reasons that contribute to favoritism.
1. Human Nature and Biases
People naturally gravitate toward others they like, feel comfortable with, or share common interests.
Whether it’s due to similar personalities, backgrounds, or simply because of familiarity, these biases can influence decision-making, even if leaders don’t intend to favor certain individuals.
2. Power and Control
Sometimes, leaders or managers use favoritism as a way to maintain control or assert power.
By aligning with certain employees, they can ensure loyalty or create a sense of dependency that makes those employees more likely to back them up in future situations.
3. Lack of Awareness
Some managers don’t even realize they’re showing favoritism.
If they interact more with certain team members or make decisions that consistently benefit a specific person, it may be a result of unconscious bias rather than an intentional effort to treat others unfairly.
4. Fostering Personal Relationships
In certain workplaces, leaders may form personal relationships with some employees outside of work, whether through social events, shared interests, or even after-hours activities.
These bonds can bleed into their professional decisions, resulting in the perception (or reality) of favoritism.
5. Unequal Standards for Performance
Favoritism may arise from an unequal standard of performance expectations.
A boss might overlook mistakes from their favored employees while being highly critical of others, perpetuating the imbalance.
How to Handle Favoritism in the Workplace
Dealing with favoritism can feel like walking a tightrope.
You want to address the issue without making waves or drawing negative attention to yourself.
Here are some ways to handle favoritism that can help you navigate this tricky situation:
1. Reflect on the Situation
Before reacting, take a moment to think about the situation objectively.
Is there truly favoritism happening, or are you simply feeling left out?
Sometimes, feelings of being overlooked stem from miscommunication, personal frustration, or external stress.
Take a step back and assess the situation with a clear mind.
Ask yourself: Are others really being treated unfairly, or are there external factors influencing your perception?
For example, is a colleague getting more attention because they’re handling a project that aligns with their skill set, or are they receiving special treatment over others?
2. Assess the Bigger Picture
Favoritism is often just a symptom of a larger issue in the workplace.
If you’re witnessing favoritism, chances are, there are systemic issues at play—whether it’s poor leadership, lack of communication, or a culture of inequality.
By understanding the bigger picture, you’ll be better prepared to approach the issue strategically.
Look for patterns: Is favoritism a recurring theme with certain individuals or departments?
Does it affect only specific types of projects, or is it broader across the company?
Understanding the scope will help you decide whether this is something that requires personal intervention or a broader organizational change.
3. Address It with Your Manager
If you feel comfortable, one of the most direct approaches is to speak with your manager about the favoritism you’re perceiving.
Rather than approaching the conversation with anger or frustration, frame your concerns in a way that focuses on improving workplace fairness for the entire team.
Be specific: Instead of saying, “I feel like you’re playing favorites,” try to be more concrete.
For example, “I’ve noticed that I’ve been given fewer opportunities to lead projects.
I’d appreciate more chances to contribute.”
Use “I” statements: This prevents the conversation from becoming accusatory. “I feel that the workload distribution isn’t as balanced as it could be” is less confrontational than “You always give them the best projects.”
Be professional: Approach the conversation from a place of constructive feedback, rather than trying to get someone else in trouble.
Frame your concern in a way that shows you’re focused on improving the work environment for everyone.
4. Communicate with the Favoritism Target
If the favoritism seems to be aimed at a particular coworker, consider discussing your feelings with them.
This approach can provide you with insight into how they are handling the situation and help you both understand how to navigate it better.
Ask them about their experience: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been getting a lot of attention from the boss lately.
How do you manage it?” This can open a conversation about the issue and offer support, rather than resentment.
Support each other: Even if you’re not directly favored, showing solidarity with a coworker who might also feel left out can strengthen your workplace relationships and encourage more collaborative behavior.
5. Build Your Own Case for Advancement
Sometimes, favoritism can feel like it’s blocking your own career growth.
However, one of the most effective ways to deal with this situation is to focus on your own performance and achievements.
Build a case for your growth based on merit, and highlight your accomplishments with concrete evidence.
Document your achievements: Keep track of your contributions, results, and feedback from others.
This can help you demonstrate your value in performance reviews or conversations with management.
Seek new opportunities: Volunteer for projects or offer to take on leadership roles.
By stepping up and showing initiative, you’ll gain recognition for your skills and work ethic, regardless of favoritism.
Mentorship: Find a mentor within the organization who can offer guidance and support in navigating office politics.
A mentor can advocate for you and help you gain more visibility within the organization.
6. Know When to Let It Go
At the end of the day, sometimes favoritism is just a part of workplace dynamics, and no amount of effort will change it.
If you’ve exhausted all avenues and feel that the situation is unlikely to improve, it may be time to accept it and focus on what you can control: your own growth and development.
Shift your focus: If favoritism is affecting your happiness or productivity, try shifting your attention toward aspects of the job that bring you satisfaction.
This could be building new skills, pursuing side projects, or networking outside your current team.
Look for a new opportunity: If favoritism is rampant and affecting your mental health or career growth, it might be worth considering a change.
Seeking a more supportive work environment could be the key to your long-term happiness.
Conclusion: Navigating Favoritism in the Workplace
Favoritism can feel like an unfair disadvantage, but it doesn’t have to define your workplace experience.
Whether you’re dealing with it directly or witnessing it unfold around you, understanding how to handle favoritism with professionalism, empathy, and strategic thinking can make all the difference.
Remember, it’s not about creating conflict but about advocating for fairness, transparency, and equal opportunities.
By addressing the issue calmly, building your own case for advancement, and supporting others, you can rise above the politics and make your mark in the workplace—on your own merit.
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