“The really terrifying aspect of unknown falsehoods is that they have a greater potential to weaken us than lies that have already been disclosed. They eat away at our fortitude, our self-esteem, and the fundamental basis we stand on.

C. Hughes Cheryl

Today, cheating continues to be the primary factor in the failure of partnerships all around the globe.

The General Social Survey found that 20 percent of men and 13 percent of women had cheated in their relationships. There are usually narcissists present among those who cheat.

The cost of maintaining a connection with a narcissistic spouse is already included into the equation.

Some of its problems may be quite small and unimportant, while others, such as adultery, may have a huge impact on your romantic life and make it almost hard to maintain the relationship.

If you are curious about the reasons why narcissists cheat, let’s go further into the factors that contribute to narcissists’ unfaithfulness.

Why Do Narcissists Have Infidelity Problems?

Unfortunately, narcissistic cheaters have a well-deserved reputation for participating in both emotional and physical affairs with other people.

Let’s take a look at the research that looked at the relationship between betrayal trauma, narcissism, and attitudes about sexual infidelity.

Having extramarital encounters and, in general, having more permissive views towards infidelity are both positively connected with narcissistic behavior. This is the case regardless of how content a person is with their existing romantic partnership.

There might be a number of factors contributing to such unethical action, including the following:

  • Attempting to gain power and influence
  • Inability to empathize
  • A need for approval and a need for narcissistic supply
  • Sociosexuality without any limitations, or
  • Reduced degrees of emotional investment in the relationship

You should be aware that there is no justification for cheating, regardless of how well prepared you are to defend your narcissist wife or husband’s infidelity in the relationship.

Sadly, a lot of partners attempt to deny the obvious signals that their narcissist partner is cheating on them, but this will not make the cheating go away.

On the other hand, some people are completely unaware that there is a problem. But is it possible to know for sure whether a narcissist is cheating on you? Spoiler alert: Yes, you can.

Warning Signs of Narcissist Infidelity You Should Not Ignore

1. You’re a liar, a liar, and you’re on fire!

“I remember you telling me once, and at the time, I believed you. Because of this, I started having doubts about you. You persisted, and I understood that you were making things up.

— A proverb from China

The most important thing about narcissists that you need to understand is that they often lie.

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Because lying to others for one’s own gain is the defining characteristic of a narcissistic personality, you should not believe anything that a narcissist tells you, particularly if they insist on the same thing again and over again.

It’s possible that they will try to persuade you that they won’t put up with dishonesty and infidelity in your relationship by telling you how much they loathe such behaviors and how much they despise you for engaging in them.

Sadly, it doesn’t matter how much they speak about how strongly they feel about integrity and honesty; it might potentially be a red sign regardless of how frequently they say it.

If your partner is narcissistic and cheats on you, they will want you to think that they will never have an affair outside of the marriage so that they may continue to profit from their lies and the fact that you are still into them.

In addition, they feel superior since they were successful in lying to your face without being discovered.

2. There is a significant amount of competition and allegations made

The use of guilt trips is a kind of narcissistic abuse that one spouse may utilize on a regular basis against the other.

Because of this, it is rather common for a narcissistic girlfriend or boyfriend who cheats to accuse the other person of adultery first. Since you will be so preoccupied with defending yourself, you won’t be able to argue with them.

They will be able to show how strongly they disapprove of being unfaithful to a spouse by using even the tiniest false hint of your infidelity as a way to convey how strongly they disapprove of being unfaithful.

That is, in a sense, a staged drama for further emotional blackmail so that you would fall for the trick and start feeling bad about suspecting them. The goal is to get you to fall for the deception and start feeling terrible about questioning them.

When it comes down to it, narcissists are well aware that the best offensive is a good defense.

3. An unreasonably strong need for “gadget protection”

This is typical behavior for cheaters in general, not just narcissists specifically.

However, this is one indicator that partners often ignore. You need to keep in touch with your fling, which is often accomplished via the use of text messages.

Because of this, the narcissistic girlfriend or boyfriend who cheats on you will become very possessive and paranoid about their electronic devices.

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What’s this, a password out of the blue? Red flag! Keeping their laptop closed and their phone tucked away in their pocket at all times? Red flag!

A narcissist who cheats on their partner will go to great lengths to safeguard their privacy, and you may see how tense they get anytime you need to use their electronic devices, such as their phone or tablet.

Since most of us now pay with our smartphones, the information stored on our credit cards needs to be kept secure yet we are needed to have a password to access our accounts.

If, on the other hand, you have nothing to conceal, there is no need to get worked up over your spouse asking for your password.

4. Sudden disappearances

A serial adulterer who is also a narcissist is an expert at coming up with phony explanations for why they need to go out of town for a few days or why they have to return late on a Friday night.

It’s possible that this is the most evident symptom that a covert narcissist is cheating on their partner.

Even if you live together, they won’t feel it’s vital to keep you updated on their movements since they seldom have the empathy to take into consideration your sentiments. This is true even if you live with them.

There is a possibility that they are seeing someone if they are disappearing often.

5. Behavior of an avoidant nature

Narcissists are experts at confrontation and, as a result, they are manipulative by nature. This leads them to seek out disputes on a regular basis.

When they suddenly start avoiding confrontation, it gives the impression that they are even more dubious.

When challenged, a narcissist who cheats on their partner would, of course, deny that they are seeing another person.

On the other hand, the weighty subject matter may provide them with a valid pretext for vanishing for a time.

They may also attempt to play the victim card by seeming wounded by your charges or they may use the silent treatment strategy in an effort to get their way with you. Try not to be fooled by this ruse.

They are just acting in this manner in order to induce feelings of guilt in you and get you to change your conduct in an effort to make amends to them.

6. Generosity that appears out of the blue

Making the partner feel like they are unique and important is another prevalent kind of manipulation.

If, all of a sudden, your narcissistic lover starts being extraordinarily considerate and compassionate toward you, this might be a warning flag.

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Typical narcissists don’t go out of their way to buy gifts and host parties full of tiny surprises. It’s possible that they’re attempting to distract you from the fact that they’ve been unfaithful.

The practice of offering gifts is common among cheats.

They will attempt to throw the other person off by being far kinder and more considerate than they normally would. Be on the lookout for unexpected signs of gratitude, then.

7. Being forewarned is being forearmed

When we are over over heels in love with someone, we have a hard time believing anything negative that is stated about them. It’s possible that an ex has valid reasons for saying such hurtful things about the person they dated before you.

However, you should always be on the lookout for what the narcissist’s ex-partners are trying to tell you, particularly if they are publicly criticizing your spouse or going out of their way to warn you about the narcissist.

In these instances, you should be extremely cautious.

In an effort to discredit their exes, narcissistic partners would, of course, accuse their former partners of being preoccupied or even insane.

They can even start spreading false information about their former victims to you in an effort to protect you.

In any case, refrain from making any hasty judgments; it might be beneficial to get their ex’s point of view.

As a Conclusion

Dealing with a cheating narcissist may be accomplished in a number of different ways. You may consider going to visit a relationship counselor or a family therapist, for instance.

You also have the option of trying to address them when you observe any of the indications that were discussed earlier in this paragraph.

But keep in mind that you always have the option to leave a narcissist for your own well-being if the situation gets intolerable and you are no longer able to deal with it.

Thank you for your time, and I really hope that reading about the seven symptoms that a narcissist is cheating on you was beneficial.

We would appreciate it if you could share your opinions with us by leaving a comment below.

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