A First Aid Kit for Those Times When Life Goes to Pieces

“What if suffering, like love, is only a destination that courageous individuals choose to go to?” ~Glennon Doyle

It is one of the biggest ironies in life that when things are going well, it looks like everything is going well. When life is difficult, everything appears to be difficult.

This is the one that keeps coming back to me, and I keep trying to figure out what the deal is. Why do we find ourselves stuck in cycles of either “all positive” or “all evil” thinking? When we are imprisoned again, how can we get out of the “all awful” situation more quickly? What are some ways that we can pull ourselves out of this mess?

In the course of my life, there have been times when nothing seems to be going right. When I couldn’t even begin to imagine that I would ever be able to get out of bed without much trouble again. When I have believed that my present circumstance will never change or when I have been certain that my life would always be filled with pain.

My challenges are often associated with my having a physical ailment. After receiving six separate diagnoses of autoimmune diseases, I honestly believed that my life was gone. Even before I turned thirty, I had a very pessimistic outlook on how the rest of my life would end out.

This time, along with others just like it, is what I refer to as the black hole. I was able to escape out of that situation at that time by making significant adjustments to my lifestyle that included my body, mind, and soul.

On the other hand, I’ve come to the conclusion that, the majority of the time, the most difficult fight we face is the one that takes place inside ourselves in private. And yeah, I’ve been there once more in the last five years, and I know for a fact that I will be there again in the years to come. I believe that it is a necessary component of the human experience.

So, how do we do it? How can we make the tools that are so readily available to us when things are going well also available to us when things in our lives are going in the wrong direction? This is the personal first-aid kit that I’ve put together for myself. I have high hopes that it will be of use to you as well.

1. Feel your sensations.

If you’re a very sensitive person like I am, you’re probably well aware of the feelings going through your body. You are aware that you possess them. They never leave your side, and as a result, you are reminded all the time of the situation in which you now find yourself. So, how do you cope with the reality of the situation?

Acceptance is one option, but there are others. Stay in tune with how you’re feeling. Take a seat, allow yourself to experience whatever feelings need to be expressed, and embrace them all. You don’t always have to comprehend what’s going on. You are not required to do an analysis. There is no need to correct anything; all you need to do is be with it.

2. Let folks in.

Who in the history of the universe told us that being a human in this day and age would be simple? Where did we come up with such a ludicrous concept? It is not a simple task. Not necessarily in any case. It’s not always easy, is it?

Talk to a reliable friend or family member. Remind them ahead of time that the only thing you want from them is to listen and that you do not require any suggestions at this moment. Just let it all out as quickly as you can. Simply having someone who is willing to listen to you may go a long way.

3. Keep in mind that you do not stand alone.

No matter how you now feel or what experiences you are having, know that you are not alone. You are unique and distinctive, but your experiences and feelings are not.

You did not create the sensation that you are experiencing right now; it has always been there. At this very second, there is someone else, somewhere on the globe, who is going through the very same thing that you are going through right now. It might be brought on by a variety of factors, but the feeling itself is consistent regardless. You’re not alone.

4. Compose it down on paper.

Our thoughts often become stuck in a rut and play over and over again. The same notion keeps cycling through one’s head over and over again. Write whatever comes to mind with a pen and paper or by settling in front of your computer. Let it all out. Don’t be too critical of yourself. Let it all out and relieve some of the strain that’s been building up. Incredibly relieving.

5. Move outdoors.

The power of nature to heal is really astounding. It serves as a constant reminder whenever I seek refuge in it. Yes, this is incredible, and I get to connect with something that is beyond what my intellect is able to fathom at this time. It is not necessary for me to comprehend it. Simply taking some time to relax by the lake, leaning against a tree, or exposing my face to the breeze will do the trick. Have faith that this will help you recover. If you are able to move your body while simultaneously accessing this understanding, you should do so.

6. It’s possible that you’re not going to die.

The human mind has an occasional propensity to overstate things, even if only a little. Are you actually facing the end of your life right now? Is this a real possibility for you, or are you merely feeling as if your life is coming to an end?

If you are breathing, your heart is beating, and both of your feet are planted firmly on the ground, you are, for all intents and purposes, OK. You are alright. It’s possible that your mind is tricking you into believing a story about a situation that is not really taking place at this particular instant. For a while, stay in the here and now and don’t worry about the past or the future.

7. Even this will evolve over time.

This is one of my favorite quotes on practicing mindfulness. Being alive means acknowledging that the only thing that is constant is change.

“Being mindful” is defined as “just being aware of what is occurring in the here and now without wishing it were otherwise; enjoying the nice without hanging on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without thinking it will always be this way (which it won’t).” ~James Baraz

Be aware that whatever it is that you are going through right now will eventually pass. It is possible that not everything will be perfect and wonderful the next day, but things will be different, even if only a little. Things are about to change.

A number of years ago, when I needed to remind myself of something, I composed this poem for myself. I believe it to be an excellent summary of the situation.

To myself, if I ever find myself there again, and to everyone else who has ever been there or is there right now: If you ever find yourself in the black hole, I hope you find this helpful.

It will get better. There is a purpose to everything that you are going through right now.

You will feel like life again.

If you are unable to accomplish anything else, the only thing you need to focus on is breathing; there is no need to worry about anything else.

Don’t put up a fight. Let it be. It is just how it should be, and everything is well with it. Just be. Don’t judge. Let go.

Take note of the things that are lovely. Pay attention to the things that make you feel at ease. Consume just that which satisfies your taste buds. Do whatever makes you happy. It’s healthy for your soul, even if it seems meaningless right now, so keep doing it.

Ask for aid.

Allow other individuals to lend you a helping hand. You should delegate your concern to other individuals.

Cry. Scream. Wail. Laugh. Sleep. Close your eyes. Do whatever it is that must be done. Let it out. And embrace.

Things are going to get better. I promise.

For me, they are more than simply words written on a sheet of paper. These are tested and tried realities. And it’s possible that things in your life aren’t really that bad to begin with. It’s possible that this is only a prelude to something much greater in the future.