How to Stop Caring What Others Think: An Enlightened Guide
Have you ever given thought to how other people see you?
Yes, if you’re like the general population.
In fact, the journal Scientific America asserts that it is normal for human beings to care about what the opinions of other people are.
However, if you find that you care too much about what other people think of you and that you are molding your life to fit the expectations of others, it may be time to assert yourself.
In the excellent text that follows, spiritual guru Osho provides some great advice on why you should stop worrying about what other people assume of you and delivers some fantastic advice about it.
Examine Who You are on the Inside and “Become a Lion.”
Osho advises, to begin, that rather than worrying about what other people think of you, one should focus within and ask oneself the following questions:
“No one will be able to criticize you for anything.” People always talk about themselves, regardless of what they say. On the other hand, since you are still holding to a false core, you become quite unsteady.
That false center is dependent on other people, which means that you are always monitoring what other individuals have to say about you. And you are always striving to please other people, even if you constantly follow other people’s lead.
You are constantly making an effort to appear respectable, and you are always making an effort to embellish your ego. This is a sure path to death.
You should start searching inside yourself rather than letting the words of others upset you.
“Every time you are aware of your own self-consciousness, you are only demonstrating that you are not aware of your own self at all.” You have no concept of who you are. If you had known, there would have been no need for concern; if this is the case, you are not interested in hearing other people’s perspectives. If this is the case, you should not be concerned with what other people think of you since their opinions do not matter.
“You are in a dangerous position when you feel self-conscious.” Self-consciousness is a sign that really indicates that a person does not know who they are or where they come from. Your sheer sense of self-consciousness is evidence that you have not arrived at your destination yet.
The views of other people are the source of the largest amount of anxiety in the world. You are no longer a sheep the minute you realize you do not need to be terrified of the people around you; instead, you have evolved into a lion. A mighty shout, the roar of liberation, breaks forth inside your whole being.
Why You Need to Become Better at Loving Yourself First
Osho emphasized the need to have a healthy relationship with one’s own self. And when you finally figure out how to love yourself, not only will you cease worrying what other people think of you, but the rate at which you develop as an individual will accelerate dramatically.
“Love and respect yourself above all else, and just never, ever give in to compromise.” And then you will be shocked to see how much development begins to happen all on its own… as though rocks had been cleared away and the water had begun to flow.”
However, according to Osho, it is challenging to love oneself since none of us have learned to embrace who we are in our most authentic form:
“According to Lao Tzu, you must accept yourself.” The source of all problems is an unwillingness to take responsibility for them. Nobody here is willing to accept themselves.
A person seems to be a larger Mahatma to others in proportion to the degree to which he does not accept himself.
We are our worst adversaries. If we could have it our way, we would dismember ourselves so that we could get rid of everything that is disagreeable.
According to Osho, this has a great deal to do with our ego since it has a hollow feeling:
“Always keep in mind that whatever the personality brags about is precisely the reverse of what you are experiencing in your life.” Your personality will reflect your intellect, even if you are struggling with low levels of intelligence.
Your personality will generate a really pleasant, smiling, and loving quality, even if you are experiencing an aversion to love on the inside. It is not just for the purpose of fooling other people; in reality, the primary goal is to fool oneself.
You have the desire to forget how unloving you have been. If you are searching for meaning inside yourself but not finding it, your personality will begin to amass a thousand and one items.
Getting rid of self-doubt and learning to believe in yourself is the most important change you can make, in our opinion, since it’s the one that will have the most impact on your life. We think that huge changes occur from little acts taken every day over a lengthy period of time.
The Issue that Arises Therefore Is: What are Some Effective Ways to Let Go of the Ego?
Meditation is the means by which, according to Osho, we may overcome our ego and let it go.
“If you meditate and gently, slowly get rid of the ego and away from your personality in order to know who you really are, love will appear to you on its own.” There is nothing you need to do since it is a natural bloom that occurs without human intervention.
But it can only flourish in a certain environment, and I refer to that environment as meditation.
In the atmosphere of stillness—no mind, no turbulence inside, pure clarity, calm, and silence—aall of a sudden, you will realize that hundreds of flowers have bloomed within you, and the scent of those flowers is love.
Since this will be your first experience with yourself, it is only natural that you will fall in love with yourself.
Initially, you will become conscious of the scent that is emerging in you, as well as the brightness that has been created in you and the blissfulness that is pouring on you. This is the first step.
Eventually, love will become an innate part of who you are. Then you will love a great number of people, and after that, you will love everyone.
There are many various approaches to meditation that one might choose. However, according to Osho, the method that is most useful while engaging in the practice of meditation is to transform oneself into an “observer of the mind.”
He describes the process that should be followed:
“The first step in meditation is to dissociate oneself from one’s thoughts and take on the role of a witness.” That is the only way to get some distance between yourself and anything else.
You are not the light; rather, you are the one who is gazing at the light. This is obvious when you consider the fact that you are the one doing the staring. If you are observing the flowers, there is one thing you can be assured of: you are not the flower; rather, you are the observer.
“The act of watching is fundamental to meditation.”
“Keep an eye on your thoughts.”
“Don’t do anything; don’t repeat a mantra; don’t repeat the name of God; simply observe whatever the mind is doing.” There is no need to do either.” Do nothing at all to interfere with it in any way, including preventing it from happening or trying to stop it from happening.
You need only take on the role of an observer; the miraculous act of seeing itself is a kind of meditation. As you continue to observe, you may notice that your mind begins to gradually clear of ideas, but you are not going to sleep; rather, you are getting more attentive and more aware.
“As the intellect becomes fully vacant, your whole energy will go ablaze with the awakening of the spirit.”
The consequence of one’s meditative efforts is this flame. Therefore, you might argue that meditation is just another word for watching, seeing, and observing without passing any kind of judgment or making any kind of assessment. By simply viewing, you are quickly removed from your mental state.
Putting Oneself Before Others
What do you consider to be your most important objective at the moment?
Is it so you can finally purchase that automobile you’ve been putting money down for?
to finally get started with that part-time job or business that, one day, you’ll hopefully be able to replace your 9-to-5 income with?
or to take the plunge and eventually bring up the subject of your lover moving in with you?
There is a hidden trap in the way that you establish your objectives, and it doesn’t matter what those goals are.
The fallacy is as follows:
Genuine life satisfaction can only be attained when one’s ambitions are in harmony with one’s core beliefs and principles.
Because when your values and objectives are in harmony, you have a lot easier time enjoying the ride. And as a result, you have a considerably better chance of completing your objectives.