When Something You Once Loved No Longer Excite You

When you no longer feel the same way about something that you used to be passionate about.

“Do it with passion or not at all” – Rosa Couchette Carey.

If you’ve ever had a strong interest in anything, you’re probably already familiar with the highs and lows that come along with pursuing the activity that you like the most. These ups and downs are an inevitable part of the process.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s music, writing, sports, fitness, or anything else; there are nights when the thing you love keeps you up all night, and there are other days when you simply feel exhausted and uninspired.

When you pursue your passion, you’ll inevitably have ups and downs, which is a perfectly normal and healthy part of the process.

What, however, takes place when “valleys” continue to be valleys?

Perhaps there are a few days in the week in which you don’t feel very thrilled.

When something you previously enjoyed doing starts to seem more like a chore than something you look forward to doing, you may have reached a point of burnout.

After then, maybe that couple of days will stretch into a few weeks. Perhaps even a couple of months at the most.

As more time goes by, you begin to experience feelings of melancholy and exasperation. Your passion for the endeavor that used to light a fire in your chest has now died down.

You can even start beating yourself up over the fact that you no longer feel affection for that person or item. After all, you once had a strong affection for that object. There has been no alteration to any of its aspects.

You can become angry with yourself and wonder what’s wrong with you since you’re not feeling enthused about something that used to bring you a lot of pleasure in the past. This might lead to feelings of frustration.

What was once a roaring, blazing, and encouraging blaze is now a smoldering, barely visible ember.

You make an effort to stoke the fire, working to make it more significant while also working more diligently to restore it to its previous luster.

However, when it becomes more obvious that the fire is going out, you start to feel more and more exhausted.

There are certain interests that end up shaping who you are. They leave an indelible mark on your very being, as well as your sense of identity and who you are.

Therefore, as that desire begins to wane, a moment of fear can begin to set in. When you consider that you won’t be able to engage in the activity that used to define you, you could experience feelings of worry or even severe sadness.

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I am quite grateful to report that I have been able to make a living doing something that I have always enjoyed doing—namely, teaching dance—in the capacity of a professional.

Despite this, I had both highs and lows during my career in dancing.

The path I’ve taken through my own adventure in dancing has been something like this:

One evening, you find yourself at a ballroom dancing studio. I have neither prior dancing experience nor any intention of ever learning how to dance. Attend the social event nonetheless, simply for the sake of having fun.

You may dance with one of the hosts of the event. Join along with the other people. Spend the rest of the night dancing. Experience joy and a sense of inspiration. Regardless of what this fresh sensation is, fall in love with it.

Register for the ballroom dancing classes being offered later that evening. Spend at least five years honing your dancing skills.

For the next five years, I am going to ignore everything else that people my age typically do so that I may concentrate entirely on my true interest.

I will be accepting a teaching position at a new studio, hence I will be leaving my previous studio. start generating money doing what I like doing most in the world.

At this juncture, I am filled with joy. I don’t have the same blazing intensity that I had when I was practicing and dancing simply for myself and the delight of no one else but myself.

But it’s alright. Knowing that I am contributing to the fulfillment of others by enabling them to experience the same level of enthusiasm that I do gives me a feeling of happiness.

I stay on as an instructor at that studio for another two years. As time goes on, I start to experience feelings of exhaustion.

I try to persuade myself that feeling exhausted all the time is “normal” and that it’s simply something that comes with doing my work.

I’ve been told by other employees that “it’s not supposed to be fun.” I make an effort to laugh about it. I am still in the classroom. My enjoyment of it has gradually diminished.

I am no longer interested in dancing. It is no longer something that makes me feel good to teach other people how to love dance when my own passion for it is not real.

One evening, destiny makes its appearance. I go to a different class sometimes to engage in social dancing for enjoyment and recreation. Simply for my own use.

I feel newfound energy. I often see other dancers who are far more skilled than I am. I have a sense of being both humbled and pushed.

I made the decision to begin working here. In the beginning, it filled me with a fresh sense of optimism and enthusiasm.


However, just as with everything else, passion needs to originate from within in order to be maintained; if it comes from other forces, it can only survive for a certain amount of time. Which is precisely what ends up taking place.

As was the case previously, I began to feel progressively uninspired. I want so badly to experience something. But I have no idea why I don’t feel that way. I feel depressed.

On the other hand, I will not contest or refute it this time. I am aware that I have some work to do on the inside of myself. I need to decide if it is best for me to cling on or let go of this situation.

Acceptance may be a very challenging task when it comes to a waning love for anything. It is conceivable that taking a step back from that previous love would seem to be almost impossible.

Regardless of whether or not it continues to motivate you, it’s possible that you may experience a loss of identity and question who you are without it.

But based on my own experiences, I can state that taking a break, even if it’s just for a little while, is one of the most effective treatments.

When something you used to like gives you feelings of boredom, tension, or a lack of inspiration, it is usually a clear indicator that some reevaluation and inner work has to take place.

You shouldn’t be terrified of what your instincts are telling you. When something that used to offer you delight does not do so anymore, this is often the soul’s way of indicating that “it is time to take a break.”

I want those of you who find themselves becoming emotionally and spiritually entwined with the people, places, and activities you love the most to know that I understand.

The mere concept of taking a few steps back may cause an identity crisis, and I want you to know that I am here to tell you that I understand. I am familiar with the annoyance.

Yet the wisdom of your spirit prevails. Your deepest self is the one who understands when it’s time to clear some room in your schedule.

The good news is that by giving the item you loved some distance, you are opening the door for one of two positive outcomes:

One: You are providing yourself with the opportunity to rest, rejuvenate, and recuperate. There are instances when this is the only thing required.

It’s possible that you only needed some time away from your passion to rediscover its spark, and that when you come back to it in the future, you’ll do so with a renewed sense of enthusiasm, vitality, and focus.

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Or, you may look at it this way: by not going back to your first love, you leave yourself open to the possibility that another delight will ultimately take its place.

You are putting yourself in a position to discover new pastimes and interests thanks to this chance. And if you’re looking for the “new thing” and you can’t locate it right away, don’t freak out!

You will. Your heart has the knowledge. Although it could take some time, you will eventually be led, once again, to that new item.

It became clear to me that I needed to approach my dance in a different manner in order to be successful.

In the first place, I needed to stop comparing myself to the people around me and concentrate instead on the qualities that make me a good dancer and dance instructor.

When I compared myself to others, it made me feel inadequate and insecure, which, in turn, made me not feel very motivated to dance in general.

I came to the realization that I had a greater degree of happiness whenever I concentrated on my accomplishments, particularly with regard to my personal development and advancement.

Furthermore, I came to the conclusion that I needed more time to dedicate to dancing just for me.

Not providing individual lessons or participating in a classroom setting. Not acting as a hostess. Going out for some drinks and dancing.

When I danced only for myself, I was able to rediscover my joy. I had a strong sense of both passion and purpose.

Because of this, I was able to learn an essential lesson, which is that you can only offer someone or anything the amount of love that is now contained inside you.

If you don’t feel joyful and thrilled on the inside, how can you possibly expect other people to feel happy and excited around you?

When pursuing something that you’re passionate about, it’s important to make time for self-care and maintain a healthy balance in your life.

Don’t be afraid to give yourself some breathing room if you’re feeling burned out, exhausted, or stressed out as a result of your enthusiasm right now.

You shouldn’t be afraid to stand back, take a few deep breaths, and redirect your attention to something else for a little while. Everything will turn out well in the end.

When you let go, you are giving the universe permission to work its magic and fill the hole that you have created.

This may come in the form of fresh love and vitality, or it may take the form of a new passion that you could never have imagined.

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