The Most Important Skill You May Have: Calm Yourself
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Perhaps you’ve noticed that you’re overreacting to situations that happen virtually every day.
As an example,
1.
If someone cuts you off on the expressway, you get enraged and blow your horn and yell at them (even if they can’t possibly hear you and you know you’re exaggerating).
2.
Alternatively, if you are trapped in a long queue at the grocery store, you sigh and grumble to yourself in annoyance.
3.
Or, you read a social media post that irritates you and, before you know it, you’re penning an angry response.
After you’ve finished overreacting, you’re left wondering what just occurred!
What prompted the outburst?
These are just a few instances of overreacting, which almost everyone does from time to time, even if they are not typically emotionally reactive.
But have you ever considered why people overreact?
It may certainly give you the impression that you are being controlled by an unseen power.
It’s as though your emotions have imprisoned you.
There are two major causes of your overreaction
1. Your own brain is the root of your overreaction.
The amygdala is a brain component that is a genetic legacy of the brain possessed by reptiles hundreds of millions of years ago.
Reptiles lived in a world that was quite different from ours.
It was a basic world with simple wants and simple threats.
In essence, the reptile either ate something else or was devoured by something else.
To thrive, the lizard with this brain required just three fundamental instinctive impulses.
It was necessary to fight, freeze, or run depending on the conditions.
These lizard brain traits include phobias, quick judgments, procrastination, writer’s block, and other issues.
They occur as a result of the reptile brain complex’s design to operate in a single uncomplicated mode.
When faced with a difficulty, such as hunger, or perceived danger, such as a terrifying circumstance, your lizard brain only provides you with three options: fight, freeze, or escape.
Back in the day, perhaps fifty million years ago, they were viable day-to-day solutions that kept your distant ancestors alive and well.
If you were hungry, you killed and ate something.
If something was attempting to kill or consume you, you froze or fled.
In other words, the amygdala assisted you in surviving another day of fighting, freezing, or running.
The lizard brain in your mind still works the same way it did when you were a kid.
The distinction is that there aren’t many “eat or be eaten” scenarios in contemporary civilization; therefore, fighting, running, or freezing are often overreactions to modern conditions.
What occurs People display rapid “kneejerk” reactions and rage instead of arguing.
Instead of escaping, many find themselves overreacting and becoming too fearful.
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People who procrastinate or accidentally sabotage themselves instead of freezing.
Simply because you have a lizard brain in your head does not obligate you to act on these archaic, and mostly obsolete, impulses.
Recognizing where these bad reactions come from and why they happen is the first step in dealing with them.
2. The second reason for overreacting is the countless subtle-energy thoughtforms you have made in the past by overreacting.
You activate subtle energy patterns with your lifeforce every time you have an emotional response.
That is why you feel depleted and fatigued after an emotional outburst.
Each of these subtle-energy patterns accumulates over time in your aura, chakras, and physical body.
They gather together in groups and layers, ready to respond when you get angry again.
The only way to do so is to learn how to relax.
Three Methods for Combating the Negative Effects of Overreacting
The first step is to understand where these habits originate from and to recognize them in your own daily life for what they are.
The second step is to prepare ahead of time for how you will cope with them when they arise.
The third step is to cope with the consequences of their actions.
Here’s how to do it 🙂
Pause
When you sense a response coming on or understand that it is an overreacting trigger, halt, refrain from making self-judgments, and take a breath.
Recognize that you are just experiencing a survival impulse that is a part of your physical make-up and that there are strategies to address and lessen it.
Even if you’ve already responded negatively, change your energy by taking a long breath in through your mouth and slowly exhaling out of it.
Label
Putting a name to your overreaction helps you disidentify with it by rejecting its claim on you and releasing the energy from it.
What is your precise reaction?
Is it rage?
Frustration Insecurity? frightened?
Anxiety?
If you’ve been cut off, your first emotion is likely to be the rage.
Anger and anxiety are likely your most typical overreactions.
Nevertheless, as you go about your day, you will notice a variety of behaviors that you may classify.
Ask
Consider why something triggered you in the manner that it did.
This step’s goal is to make you aware of your blind spots and triggers.
Often, the emotion in your reply is the result of something bubbling under the surface.
It’s more than simply being severed.
Rather, you may be responding furiously because you believe it will cause you to be late.
Consider this: have you ever cut someone off because you were late?
Probably.
That doesn’t make anything right, but it should put things into perspective for you.
The more knowledge you have about your overreaction, the deeper and more fully you will be able to release and cleanse it.
Choose
You’ve halted, classified, and inquired; now it’s time to choose a healthy answer.
This is an important phase in the process.
Consider your goal, what is most important, and how you can successfully respond.
Is being enraged going to help you reach your goal?
Not at all.
In this scenario, the aim is to get to work (or another location) on time and safely.
Getting upset will cause your concentration to change and distract you from your objective.
A better reaction would be to brush it off and concentrate on the journey.
Release
You don’t want to ignore or bury the emotional and subtle energy that has been entangled in your reactions.
Let’s take a quick look at two of the most common triggers: anger and fear.
Getting furious may sometimes make people do what you want them to do.
To regulate their children’s and pets’ conduct, parents shout at them.
People in partnerships are prone to doing the same thing.
The truth is that rage does not produce the desired consequences.
People may momentarily do what you want, but they will eventually detest, loathe, or fear you.
Fury, in turn, creates greater anger.
Here’s what occurs when you’re enraged:
Getting furious really adds additional lifeforce to the anger program that controls you…
As a result, you unintentionally fuel the very anger habit you want to break.
To counteract the anger program, center yourself in your heart, take a deep breath and activate the opposite: peace, love, patience, and compassion.
That may seem impossible in the heat of the moment, but with experience, you can shut off the source of the anger’s energy and it will subside.
If you want to eliminate overreaction totally, I recommend the strategies in my Subtle-Energy Neutralizer program.
Fear is beneficial because it keeps me safe.
That makes some sense, doesn’t it?
If you are genuinely in a dangerous situation, it may help by increasing your adrenaline so you can fight or flee.
Even if you are not in immediate danger, you are likely to experience dread on a frequent basis.
There are many symptoms of fear, such as worry, low self-esteem, self-doubt, anxiety, insecurity, and a long list of other things.
99% of the time, what is feared does not occur.
However, this ego program may stifle your best attempts to achieve and even prohibit you from doing activities that are healthy for you or enjoyable.
Overreacting is the polar opposite of inner peace and serenity.
Deep inner peace is a condition of spiritual serenity that is free of pain and mental problems.
It is a state of being at ease regardless of one’s surroundings or circumstances.
The term “serenity” is derived from the Latin word “serenus,” which means “clear or unclouded.” Serenity is a mental state that makes you feel calm and at ease while you are completely at peace inside yourself.
With practice, you will notice that you are less likely to feel angry or stressed and that you are better at relaxing.
Aside from techniques, I’ve previously indicated that practicing acceptance is a vital strategy to maintain consistent tranquility in your everyday life.
Accepting the curve balls that life may toss at you means that you will no longer be as bothered by things as you have been in the past.
Acceptance does not imply agreement with what occurred.
Acceptance is about acknowledging that factors were put in motion to generate the circumstances so that even if you don’t agree with what occurred, you can acknowledge what caused it to happen.
Accepting uncertainty and realizing that you can’t forecast the future or alter the past helps you to be present in the now and let go of your wandering thoughts.
Accepting what is and what will allow you to be more aware and focused on what is in front of you while maintaining inner peace.
When you have profound inner peace, you can deal with any circumstance far more efficiently.
Serenity: The Antithesis of Internal Chaos
The internal disorder is the polar opposite of what your mind requires.
Serenity is required for your mind.
Serenity is a condition of quiet, tranquillity, and untroubledness.
A calm mind will not do damage to others.
It will be kind and patient.
It will not be bothered by nervous or gloomy thoughts.
It will just be.
Construct a Serenity Trigger
Anything you concentrate on to remind yourself of tranquility might be a serenity trigger.
Images depict a pleasant pastoral landscape, for example, with rolling green hills and a quiet flowing stream.
You concentrate on your mental picture or inner movie of this.
When pictured, it reminds you to take a break from whatever you’re doing and go to your area of tranquility in the middle of the craziness that is going on around you.
Your serenity trigger might be whatever works for you.
Perhaps you keep a photo of your family or significant other in your wallet.
Perhaps it’s the sound of a waterfall or a crystal that you can wear or take with you.
You might also use a smartphone app that plays peaceful music while presenting images or videos of relaxing places.
Find something that makes you happy and utilize it as a serenity trigger.
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