While Being Alone Isn’t the Same as Being Lonely
The world is at peace with him, who is at peace with himself. – Marcus Aurelius
I relocated to Madison, Wisconsin, at the month’s end of August. I have relocated twice in the last twelve months.
In both instances, almost everyone from my previous social circle cut me off. It seems that establishing friends is a whole new ballgame after college.
On most days of the week, I leave for work in Madison before five in the morning and don’t return until six or seven. Even though this makes me feel tired all the time, I still manage to go out and socialize quite a bit.
Frequently, much too frequently.
Because I’m an introvert, I need a lot of time to myself. However, it seems that the “need” to be sociable and establish new acquaintances fast usually prevails.
One of the surest ways to boost our happiness is to cultivate and maintain healthy connections, so it’s understandable that we feel compelled to do just that. However, it becomes an issue when it obstructs our access to healthy food, enough sleep, and, most importantly, an opportunity to recharge our circuits after a long day.
Realize You Need Time To Recharge
Some time alone is necessary for everyone. A “sacrifice” of social time may be quite difficult in this FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) era. Also, why? Is it to experience loneliness?
Let me tell you something: Being lonely is not the same as being alone.
Despite constantly being among other people, many individuals who don’t take the time to recharge wind up feeling lonely. My lack of rest has caused me to be “out of it” on many occasions while I’ve gone out with pals. Therefore, what will we do?
The trick is to find the fault in our need for continual external validation and fix it. Well, it’s easier said than done, honestly. It will be much simpler to fit that relaxation into our schedules if we set ourselves up for success.
You should train yourself to be content on your own since there will be times when there are no one else around to spend time with.
Please understand that I am not advocating complete isolation from society. So that we may take time to recharge from the many stresses we face every day, I propose that we reduce our reliance on the approval of others.
During this period, it is important to actively seek out information about yourself and your beliefs. At this very moment, you have made the conscious decision to be alone, and you are well aware of your ability to get pleasure from your solitude.
Ways to Find Joy When You’re By Yourself
Making the most of your time by yourself is possible via a variety of means.
1. Stop worrying about missing out.
Today, many people suffer from FOMO, or the fear of missing out. You can’t help but feel like you’re missing out on all the beautiful stuff occurring on Facebook since people only share the best moments.
You may easily have an equally good time as your pals who are going out if you learn to reframe these notions. Rather than dwelling on the fact that you’re missing X, try shifting your mindset to, “Now would be a perfect time for a rejuvenating workout.”
2. Reflect on what you stand for.
In quiet reflection, ask yourself whether you are content and if your actions are in line with your principles. In addition to making you happier in general, this will also improve how you spend your time.
You could be neglecting other pursuits that you value because you spend so much of your leisure time interacting with other people. I haven’t been consistent with my writing time since my last relocation, even though it’s vital to me. Going out all the time took my focus off of my objectives.
If you find that this is also true for you, taking some time to yourself might help you figure out why and how to fix it.
3. View your time alone as a chance to prioritize your own well-being.
This includes things like finding strategies to deal with stress, eating healthily, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. Having insufficient time is the most often cited reason for neglecting self-care. Make it a part of your quiet time, and you’ll be surprised!
Additionally, this will improve the quality of your social life. Your connections with other people will improve in direct proportion to how well you care for yourself.
4. Keep negativity to a minimum.
Even if it’s fascinating, reading the news while I’m alone is a certain method to make me feel even worse. Spending less time taking in these negative signals will make your stay there more enjoyable.
Something to Do When You’re By Yourself
1. Experiment with different interests.
Achieving mastery in a particular area and entering the elusive “flow” state are two benefits of engaging in a hobby. Though there are a myriad of other activities you may do, such as cooking, I would suggest writing. Food is something that everyone of us is very close to. You have more say over the ingredients you put into your body when you cook, and it’s also more fun. Great news!
2. Appreciate nature or spend time outside.
Enjoy some street art, go for a stroll alone, or watch the clouds pass by. You could feel rushed when you’re with other people, but when you’re by yourself, you can take your time. Make sure you don’t miss out on all the breathtaking scenery that the world has to offer.
3. Have a few observers.
Watching the actions of other people may be both very interesting and relieving. Observing other people may teach you a lot about human nature and yourself.
Make the Most of Your Social Interactions
Developing the ability to be content while you’re alone isn’t the same as being a recluse; on the contrary, it will enhance your enjoyment of social interactions.
Just how? There are two approaches. First, there’s the law of supply and demand in economics: as an item becomes more rare, its value rises. Simply said, you’ll get more out of your friendships if you don’t spend all your time in their company.
Most significantly, however, you may learn more about your beliefs and who you are while you’re alone. When we know ourselves better, we can connect with others on a deeper, more genuine level.
Remember to savor the moments spent with other people. Make an effort to bond with whomever you’re with and savor every moment.
Keep in mind, too, that you’d be just as happy to relax with a cup of tea and some reruns of The X-Files on the sofa. You and your relationships will benefit from taking this time to rejuvenate.
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