5 SELF-ESTEEM HABITS TO DEVELOP FOR HAPPIER LIVING
“Stop being so hard on yourself. ” You are a work in progress, which implies that you will arrive at your destination gradually rather than all at once. ~Unknown
When I was in my early twenties, ten years ago, I wasn’t really my own best friend. I was just getting started.
I was a student at a university, and while my classes were going well, I didn’t feel particularly fulfilled in my life overall.
When I messed up or fell short, I would berate and berate myself for days, and often even weeks.
I had a habit of dwelling on the unfavorable and seldom ever took the time to acknowledge and be grateful for the many positive aspects of both my life and myself.
I compared how I appeared, my performance in school, and my dating success—or to be more truthful, my complete lack of dates while dating—against what other people had and the outcomes they had achieved.
I had gotten myself into a rut of negativity and had a terrible opinion of myself. This is not a nice position to be in.
But I was able to get out of that rut in the end, although it took many years.
It was not a simple task. My way of thinking, as well as the way I perceived the world and myself, underwent gradual but significant changes as a result. I made some mistakes along the road, and there were several occasions when I reverted to some of my previous poor behaviors.
Today I’d like to talk about five practices that aided me in making that significant adjustment in my life and that I continue to depend on to this day and every day in order to keep and build up my sense of self-worth. I hope you find these helpful!
1. Make a comparison between you and you.
One of the first things that I decided I wanted to stop doing was comparing myself and what I had to other people and what they had. This was one of the first things that I decided I needed to stop doing.
But what should one do in its place, given that it is often more effective to replace a habit than it is to just attempt to quit doing it?
I came to the conclusion that the best comparison would be with myself.
to take a look at how much I had changed. What a long way I had come. How I had increased my success in a variety of ways, both major and little.
2. Extend more kindness to the other persons you encounter.
One of the amazing things that I’ve learned is that when you are nicer to the other people in your life, you also have a tendency to be nicer to yourself in terms of how you think about yourself and how you treat yourself.
The way in which you treat other people will likely be reflected in the way in which they treat you in the long term. This is the second positive aspect of the situation.
Therefore, I have discovered that putting my attention on being compassionate in my day-to-day existence is quite beneficial.
This act of compassion need not be about significant matters at all.
It is possible for it to be to:
Simply be present and give someone a few minutes of your undivided attention while they express their frustrations.
Give a sincere compliment
While you’re driving, make room for someone else to enter your lane.
Spend a few minutes helping someone out in a practical manner by offering them some advise, utilizing Google to assist them in locating something, carrying a heavy table, or arranging dinner reservations at a restaurant.
3. When you fall, be your own best friend by picking yourself up.
When you make a mistake, fail at something, or stumble in some manner, rather of berating yourself for it, ask yourself: “How would my closest friend or parent encourage and aid me in this situation?”
Then you should just act and have conversations with yourself in the same way that they would.
This simple shift in viewpoint has the potential to assist you in avoiding a downward spiral into a pit of depressing thoughts and instead encouraging you to be positive and enthusiastic about everything you do from this point forward.
4. Let go of your need to be flawless.
One of the primary factors contributing to my excessive self-criticism was the fact that I often demanded that everything be done to an excellent standard.
As a result, I held myself to an inhuman standard both in school and in pretty much everything else that I did.
The fact that I often did not undertake things at all due to the worry that I could not do them flawlessly was obviously a significant issue caused by this frame of mind on my part. Or, I anticipated that it would need too much effort on my part, and I gave up before I had even begun.
Simply coming to the conclusion that this way of thinking was harmful to myself and the people in my immediate environment enabled me to let go of it and embrace a more positive perspective.
Not only did it help me obtain better results, but it also helped me perform better in other aspects of my life. I just had to keep telling myself that there is such a thing as “good enough” and that I should concentrate on achieving that rather than aiming for perfection.
In addition to this, it assisted me in overcoming my tendency to put off improvements in my life in favor of postponing them for as long as possible.
5. Always keep in mind the reasons why your self-esteem is of the utmost significance.
During the last several years, I have worked to improve my personal sense of self-worth in the following ways:
Your life will become less complicated and more manageable as a result of the fact that you will no longer construct mountains out of molehills nearly as often.
You’ll be less dependent and more secure as a person as a result of this. When you have a higher impression of yourself and when you like yourself more, you won’t be as anxious to seek validation and attention from other people, and when you do, you won’t need it as much.
You sabotage yourself less. You will feel more and more worthy of wonderful things in all aspects of your life if you work to raise and maintain a healthy level of self-esteem in yourself. As a result, you’ll pursue these positive experiences with more frequency and enthusiasm. And once you do, you’ll find that you have a far lower tendency to engage in acts of self-sabotage because you’ll be aware that, on some level, you really do merit the presence of those things in your life.
In every form of connection, you’ll be more desirable to the other person. Having higher self-esteem will bring you all of the advantages that were just described. And every one of those things is quite beautiful in any form of a romantic relationship. Regardless of whether the connection is with a friend, coworker, teacher, or a romantic partner, communication is key.
All of these enormous advantages have also contributed to the improvement of the quality of my life. And while I go about my days, I make sure to have these very essential reasons for maintaining a healthy level of self-esteem and working to improve it at the forefront of my mind.
My sense of self-worth as well as my drive to make this a top priority in my life have both significantly improved as a result of my doing this one easy step.