How to Discover Your Ideal Balance Between Social Interactions and Personal Time

How to Discover Your Ideal Balance Between Social Interactions and Personal Time

An intelligent man thinks for himself; a stupid man goes along with the herd. – A saying from China

I have a simple question for you: Are you aware of your own introversion or extroversion?

You might be unintentionally depleting your vitality by spending too much time mingling with others or boring yourself to death by spending too much time alone if you don’t know the solution.

While extroverted individuals thrive in high-stimulus circumstances, introverts thrive in low-stimulation settings where they can focus on themselves.

If you want to improve your life, knowing your social type is a must.

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Being an Introvert Throughout College

I used to worry that there was something fundamentally wrong with me when I failed to comprehend the significance of my inclination toward introversion.

For a typical introvert from Finland, going to college in the US was quite a perplexing experience.

I was surprised by how much more mingling and partying there was.

Since it wasn’t a good match for my personality, I found this setting to be rather draining at times.

Like any other student, I frequented nightclubs and parties, but I couldn’t always let loose and have fun.

My then-girlfriend was once furious with me for making a horrible appearance at one of the parties we were going to.

Naturally, I aspired to blend in, so I made an effort to be more outgoing going forward.

In the end, it was a bust.

Presenting myself as an extrovert was a huge challenge and a huge time sink for me. Evidently, I wasn’t getting far with that strategy.

Something clearly needed to be changed. I started spending more time alone myself after realizing that pretending to be extroverted wasn’t helping.

After days filled with socializing, I found that spending time for me was very helping.

However, the downsides of this technique also became apparent to me shortly after. After being alone for a long period, I found that my mood would inevitably dip.

From accepting every single party invitation to politely refusing most of them, I had gone to the other extreme. I failed miserably at both ends.

It was at this point that I first understood the need of striking a balance between the two methods.

Throughout that time, I discovered many things about who I am. The balance between my social life and my time alone is now better managed.

As an example, consider:

  • Not long ago, I embarked on a lone European backpacking trip, sleeping in hostels each night. Being free to socialize with other travelers whenever I pleased was a major perk of traveling alone. I could go on a solitary adventure whenever the mood struck me.
  • I can usually refuse social invites without feeling terrible since I know I need time alone to recharge my batteries.
  • When it comes to plans like going out, I’ve become better at compromising. I often find that my party attendance is far lower than the norm. I make an effort to prioritize the quality of my relationships above the number while I’m there.

It’s More Complex Than That

As a practical matter, we may classify individuals into two distinct social types: introverts and extroverts.

See also  The Fear of Being Alone

I get that it’s not a simple yes or no; in fact, I think it’s safe to say that the vast majority of individuals fall somewhere in the middle. We aren’t quite sure where we stand on the spectrum between introverts and extroverts.

So, it seems to reason that someone whose dominant personality type is extroverted would have a different need for isolation than someone whose dominant personality type is introverted, like myself.

Nothing is exactly like any other person.

The first crucial step in finding your ideal equilibrium between social and solitary is being aware of where you fall on this spectrum of extroversion and introversion. Now that you know this, you may start enjoying life more.

Discovering the Partial Fraction

1. Holiday Options

Where would you go on vacation if you had to choose between these two possibilities?

  • A alone getaway to a tropical beach with a nice book, or
  • A holiday spent on a cruise liner, meeting hundreds of new people and having a wild time.

Give an honest response to this question. Think about the option you would choose if you were unconcerned with the opinions of others, rather than trying to figure out what you should do.

If you choose option one, it’s safe to assume that you lean more toward being an introvert. Your spirit is more extroverted if you went with the cruise ship.

2. A Day of Your Dreams

Envision the perfect day. How about some things to do? What is your ideal location? To whom would you most want to spend time?

Your ideal level of social interaction and time spent alone might be better understood once you answer these questions.

A more accurate description of an extrovert would be someone whose ideal day would include an abundance of people.

Spending time with loved ones is what my ideal day would have for me. Additionally, I like quiet time to reflect on life’s most important questions.

3. Historical Information

Your life experiences provide a wealth of data that may help you find the optimal balance between social interaction and isolation.

Is it more of a challenge for you to be alone after spending time with others, or is it easier for you to spend time alone?

Because you believed it to be the socially acceptable choice, you may have been trapped with a certain ratio. Your time spent socializing shouldn’t be dictated by what’s deemed “normal,” given that you possess a distinct personality.

4. Declining Requests

It is critical to alter one’s previous methods of operation if one is an introvert and feels that their social life is draining their vitality.

To achieve this goal, you will need to practice saying “no” to certain invites.

See how your health improves when you politely decline a few invites.

5. Where You Love to Go

Nightclubs and other high-stimulation environments are energizing for extroverts. These sites are fantastic for youngsters to go.

Coffee shops are great places to meet people, but you may do it in a way that suits you best.

Sometimes it’s more appropriate to go somewhere that fits your personality than to remain home alone.

See also  Leading with Integrity and Honor

6. Being Moral

Is there a time when you knew it was the correct thing to do but yet didn’t want to do it? Did you have a sense of satisfaction afterward?

As much as this has occurred to me, I have a feeling it has occurred to you as well.

When I have the option of eating something delicious but unhealthy, for instance, I don’t necessarily feel like eating healthily. But I always feel good about choosing the healthier choice when I do.

At times, the same is true while interacting with others. Even if you’d rather be at home, you’ll feel much better when you’ve “picked yourself up” and ventured out.

To Summarize

Knowing your natural inclination toward extroversion or introversion can help you establish the optimal balance between socializing and spending time alone.

Once you’ve mastered this, you may play about with the proportions and degrees of solitude vs social interaction.

Your level of energy and overall health will reveal if you are approaching your ideal position.

Your MASTERY OF LIFE begins the moment you break through your prisons of self-created limitations and enter the inner worlds where creation begins.

-Dr. Jonathan Parker-

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