HOW TO BREAK THE NEGATIVE PATTERNS SLOWING YOU IN LIFE
You’ll never transform your life unless you change something you do regularly. The key to your success may be discovered in the habits you practice on a regular basis.~John C. Maxwell
Bad behaviors are ingrained in all of us. The issue is that many of our routines have become so firmly established in our lives that we no longer even recognize them. If this is the case, we will come up with reasons to keep them.
If you’ve attempted to modify your behaviors in the past but have been unsuccessful, it’s possible that it’s time to try something new. You will have more success if you follow these guidelines.
1. Educate Yourself on the Current Situation
Does anything like this ring a bell? You made the decision to improve yourself by engaging in a positive activity.
Possibly you make a promise to yourself that you will make better use of your time or that you will lose weight.
You are enthusiastic and devoted to the cause. You decide on a target, and then you keep working toward it.
After a few days have passed, you look and feel amazing. Then, something happens that causes you to lose your footing and fall off the wagon.
You feel like a failure. Your aim appears unachievable. You revert to your previous behaviors.
This loop continues to repeat itself over and again.
Your first error is to establish a goal before you have a complete understanding of the circumstances around you at the moment.
Before you can even begin to consider a solution, you must first clearly identify the issue at hand.
Take some time to observe the current state of affairs before diving headfirst into effecting change. Continue like this for one week.
Some questions you may answer during your observation include:
- What is your most annoying routine?
- When you engage in your destructive pattern of behavior, how do you feel?
- When you’re not engaging in that behavior, how do you feel?
- Do you usually engage in any other behavior either before or after the undesirable habit?
- Is there a particular action or feeling that triggers the undesirable habit?
- Why do you feel the need to break this pattern of behavior?
It is not sufficient to just read these questions, nod your head in agreement, and promise yourself that you will make an effort to think about them over the course of the following week.
Taking notes is the most effective technique to alter your strategy for tackling this activity.
Either maintain a diary in which you write in each night or use your smartphone to keep a record of the responses you provide to each of these questions each day.
Get in touch with a good buddy and fill them in on what you’ve seen today.
The fact that you can’t mess up at this stage is perhaps the finest thing about it. You are not working toward achieving a goal; rather, you are just watching.
Watching an excessive amount of television is the current vice that I’m working hard to break.
After work, I keep telling myself that I need to accomplish X, Y, and Z, but instead, I wind up watching fresh episodes of my favorite television series, followed by a movie on Netflix. Bam!
The evening is over, and I don’t feel like I accomplished anything worthwhile. It is nice to have a free evening every once in a while and simply relax without having to worry about anything, but this shouldn’t be the norm throughout the week.
2. Use Visualization
It’s good to have goals. If you have no notion where you are going or where you are trying to go, you won’t be able to get there. To be significant, a goal, however, has to be more than just a few sentences written down.
Many individuals never accomplish what they set out to do because they do not have a distinct plan for how they would spend their time after they have achieved their objectives.
If a person is attempting to kick the habit of spending money on unnecessary things, they may find it difficult to refrain from purchasing if they do not have a concrete strategy in place for how they will spend the money they have been able to save.
It’s possible the somebody never gave any thought to how satisfying it would be to cut down on spending, and as a result, the satisfying sense of buying new things has won out.
Feel the result with every part of your being rather than merely establishing a goal in your head and calling it good. Imagine how different your life would be after you have successfully kicked the habit.
What will your typical schedule look like from now on? When you finally kick the habit, do you anticipate that your social circle will seem different?
Try to access the feelings that you will be going through when the habit is stopped, in addition to envisioning the mechanics involved.
Will you feel calm, thrilled, or a balance of all three? Spend some time each day reflecting on those feelings as they arise.
Conjure them up so that you may begin to embrace the drive for change across every aspect of your body and mind.
What do I see to be true for myself?
Working more on my website, switching jobs, going to the gym, spending more time with my family and close friends, and generally feeling more pleased and content with my life are all things I’ve been doing recently to improve my life and my outlook on it.
3. Recognize When You are Using an Excuse to Avoid Responsibility
Everyone, including myself, is guilty of making excuses.
- I still have time. I’m going to get started on it tomorrow.
- I accomplished plenty this week. It is OK to wait a few of extra days to finish it.
- I just do not have the time to do it now (because I wasted it playing games).
What are the most typical explanations in the book? “I am unable to” or “I do not want to.”
When you say this, what you are actually saying is, “I don’t do it now, therefore it seems like it would be too difficult to change.”
Adapting to change may be challenging, particularly when you haven’t been recognized for your efforts. Change involves labor.
This brings us back to the first and second steps. If you are conscious of what you are currently doing and what is not producing the desired results, you will have a better idea of what will provide those results.
The first thing that happens is that you become aware that you are hungry at work every day at eleven o’clock, and since you are so busy, you stuff your face with sweets as soon as you have the opportunity, and then you feel terrible afterward.
You imagine that after you have lost weight, you will be able to wear your favorite suit all day long without feeling uncomfortable, and that you will have constant energy throughout the day in order to think of original ideas at work. This eventually results in a promotion.
If you go through steps one and two, you will be able to get over your excuses no matter how many times they flood your mind.
You are aware of the things that you want to alter as well as the emotions that you anticipate experiencing after the adjustments have been accomplished.
Now all that’s left to do is stand up to the people who are telling you not to go through with it.
I see myself working as a consultant for one of the most successful businesses in the world, participating in a variety of projects that take me throughout the world, resolving problems for my customers and making their solutions even better.
I am well aware that I will not be successful if I continue to zone out in front of the television watching the next episode of Breaking Bad.
4. Be Consistent
According to research, being consistent is one of the most important factors in successfully kicking a harmful habit.
If you tell yourself that you’ll go to the gym on Monday mornings, Tuesday nights, and Friday afternoons, you’re more likely to lose momentum than if you go every day, even if you stick to your schedule.
It is helpful to organize things in such a manner that you will continue to do something every day for the rest of your life when you are trying to break a habit, even if this may not be a realistic expectation.
Perhaps you’ve decided to cut down on your consumption of sugar.
If you allow yourself to have a little treat every night, it is easy for this habit to extend into having a bigger treat every night.
Before you realize it, your need for sugar will be stimulated throughout breakfast, lunch, and supper.
Make the adjustment manageable enough that you can carry it out each and every day.
According to experts, the amount of time required to alter a habit varies from person to person, but the average amount of time required to make the shift is between twenty-one and sixty-six days.
If you are able to make a little adjustment each day for that amount of time, you will be in a position to experiment with flexibility whenever you have the impression that the undesirable habit has been broken.
I used to watch a lot more movies than I do now, but in the last few weeks I’ve made a lot of headway in terms of my future and potential employment opportunities.
I give myself permission to veg out in front of the television every once in a while, but I don’t berate myself for it since I’ve managed to kick the habit and only do things like this sometimes now.
5. Formulate a Game Strategy
If you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t be able to get there, and if you don’t have a map to show you the way, you’ll have even more problem getting there.
If you are unable to discover a program that is currently available to assist you in breaking your undesirable habit, you should create your own strategy. Put it in writing.
When there is opportunity for speculation or experimenting, the likelihood of success decreases significantly.
You won’t have to guess about how you’ll get back on track to achieve your objectives if, while you’re making a plan, you lay out the parameters for what will occur in the event that you cheat, decide to take a break, or otherwise stray from your regimen in some way.
When you’ve slipped off track with your healthy habit, a plan might help you get back on track and get back on track faster.
Going back to the first stage, if you are aware of the things that most often lead to your failure, you may include them into your strategy as well.
If you are attempting to stop smoking but you know that you always want a cigarette after dinner, make precise plans for what you are going to do during and after dinner instead.
If you know that you always want a cigarette after dinner, you may use this knowledge to help you quit smoking. If you really want to break the connection, you may try eating in a new place.
Develop a number of plans for enjoyable activities that you may participate in after supper in order to keep yourself preoccupied and diverted.
Think of a reward that you can offer yourself each time you stick to the plan, such as a relaxing soak in a luxurious bubble bath by the flickering light of a candle.
If you do wander off the route, having a plan allows you to know where to begin again so that you can get back on track more quickly.
You are aware that you must start again since you have already done so in the past.
If you keep running into problems, you may have to start from scratch each time, but at least the location where you begin will become more and more familiar to you.
When you are trying to kick a bad habit, it is important to remember that every deviation from the plan is not a sign that you have failed. Making errors is the only way we can grow as learners.
Try to picture what goes through a musician’s head when they learn a new piece of music.
This musician doesn’t simply pick up the sheet music and play through it without making a single mistake; instead, she plays a few measures, makes a mistake, and then starts all over again from the beginning.
She is going to continue playing a few more measures as time goes on.
She will continue to do this until the full piece of music is ingrained in both her cognitive and muscle memory, at which point she will be able to perform it flawlessly.
When it comes to kicking a bad habit, the approach is same.
The challenges you face along the way are an inevitable part of the journey, and they will only serve to make your ultimate achievement that much more satisfying.
Which of your undesirable behaviors are you planning to change as a result of following these steps? I have shared with you my.
Now it’s up to you to do it!
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