TEN TRAITS OF NEGATIVE PEOPLE (AND HOW TO CORRECT THEM)
“Peace will come to me when everything is in its proper place”, so your ego tells you, “Spirit is telling you to find your peace, and once you do that, everything else will fall into place,” ~Marianne Williamson
Have you ever had the feeling that your life was lacking something important?
Who am I kidding, almost everyone has done it.
I didn’t always feel this way. But not just unhappy—miserable.
When I looked at other individuals, I couldn’t help but wonder what I lacked that they had. I was exhausted by the process of living my life. And reaching the breaking point of being sick of it was the turning moment that altered everything. It was the impetus that started me going in the direction of the things that made my heart sing.
As time went on, I came to realize that the circumstances around me were not the source of my unhappiness; rather, it was the routines that I had developed over the course of my life.
I’d want to discuss what exactly those bad behaviors were and how I was able to break free from them.
1. We are awaiting more clarification.
I used to believe that having a plan was necessary in order for me to find fulfillment in life while also pursuing the things that I was passionate about.
It transpired that wasn’t the case. Simply an idea that I allowed myself to believe.
I found that I could always make one step ahead, regardless of whether or not I had clarity about the situation, as long as I took action while feeling confused and just did my best.
It was like trying to navigate through a dense fog. As long as I maintained forward momentum, more of the way ahead became clear to me. On the other hand, if I remained immobile, nothing would take place.
Don’t wait for things to become clear. Pay attention to what your gut is telling you, and go ahead even a little bit. It is not necessary for it to be flawless.
2. Asking for authorization from other people.
I needed reassurance from other people that I was heading in the correct direction. The longer I continued to do this, the more hollow I felt on the inside.
Why? because I was allowing someone else to take control. Someone else’s advice was being relied on by me, even though I should have been following my own internal compass.
It was difficult to understand and felt debilitating.
Trusting life has never been an easy thing for me to do. I have a lot of worries. But as time has gone on, I’ve come to understand that putting my faith in myself is the one and only way to lead a life that is meaningful.
As soon as I gave up trying to get permission or figure things out, my inner knowledge became clearer since it was no longer being obscured by my ideas. This allowed it to become stronger.
Remedy: Stop looking on other people for approval of your goals and aspirations. Pursue the things that get you excited about life. That is sufficient.
3. Having faith that one will be saved in the future
Another detrimental pattern of behavior that I have is living in the future with the expectation that achieving my objectives would bring about happiness.
Having said that, I’ve come to the realization that this is, once again, only an idea that I give power to.
I’ve also realized that despite my best efforts, many of the objectives I’ve set for myself have failed to bring about the sense of fulfillment I’d anticipated they would.
You, just like me, have undoubtedly heard the following saying many times before: “Happiness comes from inside. It is available right now, right in this very location.”
For a very long time, I puzzled about the following question: “It’s all well and good, but how can I use that in my life?”
The solution was to just observe my thoughts and let them go as they came and went. It is not necessary for me to give credence to every concept that suggests that the future is going to be the source of my pleasure.
After allowing those negative ideas to pass, I realized there is a wellspring of pleasure inside me that is always accessible to me.
The solution is to just be aware of what you are doing whenever you find yourself living in the future. Let go of the habit, and pay attention to what’s really taking place. Because this is only a drill, there is no need to worry if you can’t do it right the first time.
4. Wanting to take enormous jumps.
When I let myself believe that the future will come through for me, I have the need to take some pretty significant risks. I want to get there as quickly as possible.
Despite this, my conduct makes it less likely that I will achieve my objective. It makes my work less organized and more sloppy. It gives off a scent of conceit and arrogance.
But I’ve found that I may experience a feeling of calm if I just let things happen in their own time and let go of those notions.
While I’m writing this, I’m in no rush at all. I have a feeling of urgency to wrap things up, but I also see it. I don’t get involved. After that, I shift my attention back to writing and allow the words to flow freely onto the page.
And a grin spreads over my soul. My stomach flips over. My lungs begin to fill with air.
I’ll never forget saying, “This is it. This is how life goes.
Big jumps make the assumption that one will be happy at some point in the future. Take a few deep breaths and relax. Take note of how much enjoyment is yours to experience right now. No significant steps are required; all that is required is a remembrance of who you already are.
5. Having incorrect expectations about the outcome.
I was under the impression for a very long time that I could rid my life of all of the unfavorable aspects.
However, it is not necessary for each day to be filled with joy.
There are periods in life that are challenging. The challenge itself is not the issue; rather, the issue is how I connect to the challenge. When I focus on the fact that it shouldn’t be there, it causes me pain.
Once again, this boils down to my way of thinking. The way I think determines the way I experience life, but life itself is what it is.
When I become aware of my expectations, I am able to release them. This does not mean that I do not feel the sting of anything that I classify as negative; rather, it only means that I do not have to add additional fuel to the fire.
Although I have no control over life, I am in charge of how I spend my attention.
It is not necessary for me to alter my thinking; all I need to do is pay attention to what is occurring and how I am shaping my experience of the here and now.
Recognize how the fulfillment of your expectations contributes to your unhappiness. Please pay attention to what is happening right now. Make the most of what you have by giving it your all.
6. Giving careful consideration to your own opinions.
“You’re not as good as you think you are.”
“If you follow your heart, you’ll find yourself without a home.”
“What do you believe other people will think of you?”
We all experience anxiety from time to time due to certain ideas. Nevertheless, there are times when I don’t give a damn about such ideas.
The question is, therefore, what differentiates the good days from the poor days. only the condition of my existence When I’m healthy, my emotional defenses are better prepared to withstand stress.
I am reminded that my emotions are only a barometer for determining how reliable my reasoning is. When I’m not feeling well, I know I need to lighten up on how seriously I’m taking things in my head.
My ability to find solutions to issues is directly proportional to how well I am feeling. On the other hand, the majority of the time, I find that issues resolve themselves if I am ready to step aside.
Therefore, what I’ve been emphasizing over and over again is the idea that our thinking, and not our external conditions, is the source of our unhappiness.
Try treating your thoughts with less gravity for one minute at a time by giving yourself the opportunity to practice this new skill. Observe what takes place and how it makes you feel.
7. Taking precautions and avoiding risk.
When I force myself to go outside the confines of my safety zone, I often experience feelings of anxiety, fear, and worry.
But after a time, even the most unpleasant experiences become bearable. It starts to feel more natural.
What is different? My thoughts.
My mind gradually returns to normal when I let worrisome ideas pass without acting on them. If I attempt to find out what’s going on, I only make the “healing” process take longer.
I’ve come to the conclusion that in order for my life to have meaning, I need to continue to learn new things and push myself to my limits. In order to achieve that goal, I will need to stretch myself beyond my normal boundaries. I have to quit trying to avoid potential problems.
In this world, there are no assurances to be had.
All I can do is listen to my instincts and be conscious of the thoughts going through my head. That sums it up well. It’s normal for me to have terrifying thoughts, so don’t worry about that. I still have the opportunity to go ahead a little bit.
Make the adjustment of being conscious of the fact that stepping outside of your comfort zone merely entails believing a new collection of ideas. You always have the option to pay attention to your gut feeling and then proceed.
8. Fixating on a lack of something.
I am able to have fantastic relationships, engage in fulfilling employment, and yet have my life run well.
But if there is even one thing that goes wrong, and I dwell on it, I bring misery upon myself.
The key to remember about life is that there will never be a situation in which everything goes “right.”
The secret to pleasure is not in solving one’s issues, but in developing the ability to coexist peacefully with those challenges. to become aware of the ways in which your thinking brings you into problems.
This does not imply that I ignore issues, however. That I don’t have to worry about them as much as a result. I work on finding answers to things to the best of my ability, but I don’t attempt to push anything.
I’ve come to realize that when I silence my mind, I open myself up to the guidance of my own innate intelligence. When I’m not actively thinking on an issue, such as when I’m walking, doing the dishes, meditating, or showering, I often get insights that help me find answers to it.
After giving it my all, I let go of the outcome.
Take note of the fact that you have a propensity to concentrate on the ideas that alert you to the fact that something is amiss. You may relax your attention by focusing on the witness of such ideas. You are not the same as them. You are free to sit there and watch them while you breathe.
9. Confronting and overcoming challenges.
For a number of years, I avoided difficulties because I saw them to be roadblocks on the path to achieving my goals.
And I was under the impression that achieving my goals would bring me joy.
But then something shifted, and I realized that these challenges weren’t really challenges at all; rather, they were stepping stones that would help me fulfill my calling.
I try not to get into the routine of stubbornly opposing challenges but rather let my curiosity take over. I try to figure out what it is that I can take away from this experience.
It would seem that everything serves a certain function.
I’ve found that the more I give in to life’s demands, the stronger I become. And for me, this surrender simply means not making an effort to figure anything out or to have any kind of influence over life.
Don’t put up a battle against life. Embrace life. Develop an inquisitive attitude about the challenges you are facing in your life. You shouldn’t be in a hurry to remedy things. Just give them some space and time, and then evaluate the outcomes.
10. Ignoring the voice of your calling.
Ignoring your true calling is probably one of the most significant obstacles standing between you and happiness.
When I forsake my heart, my mission, my inner understanding, I become unhappy.
And one of the ways I fail to fulfill my vocation is because I think too much. I can’t shake the feeling that something is off or that I’m going in the wrong direction.
When I become aware of this thinking pattern, I take a moment to center myself and exhale deeply.
I have to let go of my preconceived notions about what my journey would entail in order to be true to my calling.
I have no idea where my life is headed; all I can do is take it one moment at a time and try to enjoy it. That gives me the creeps, but it’s alright if it happens. I am able to let ideas pass without interference, and I can focus my attention on my heart.
The solution is to let go of your preconceived notions of how your life should be and instead give it the freedom to evolve into what it was always destined to be. Take life one moment at a time and try to enjoy it. It’s the best you can do in any case.
Being happy is not something you acquire; rather, it is something you already own. Your tendency to place too much importance on what you think is the root cause of your unhappiness.
You are already equipped with the knowledge and experience necessary to lead you. The only thing you need to do is let go and see how you prevent yourself from getting access to it.
It is not a simple task. It’s a matter of routine. Sometimes it takes time.
Take note, though, that even the haste with which one attempts to do things perfect is a thinking. Let it be.
Give it your best shot.
Always put your heart first.
Also, don’t forget to take deep breaths.
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