Dealing With Addiction In The Family
Dealing with family members who are addicted to substances or behaviors is usually a very difficult issue.
When someone you care about is hurting themselves, there are a number of significant questions that need to be answered.
Are You Contributing To The Problem?
People turn to a variety of addictions in order to numb themselves from their uncomfortable emotions, most notably their sensations of worry, tension, aloneness, emptiness, and loneliness. Is there any chance that you may be adding to their suffering by doing something?
You are accountable for everything you are doing that might be contributing to someone else’s experience of suffering, even while you are not responsible for how another person chooses to cope with that pain.
The following are some of the ways in which you might be contributing:
- Being critical of the addicted individual as a means of exerting influence over them in relation to their addictions or other behaviors is unacceptable.
- Providing care for the addicted person by, for example, covering for them or doing things for them that they should be doing for themselves includes caretaking.
- When they attempt to communicate their sentiments with you regarding anything you could be doing that is unpleasant for them, disregard or ignore what they have to say by being dismissive or patronizing toward them.
- Instead of taking loving care of yourself, you are lying to yourself and telling yourself that you are responsible for others.
Accepting Your Lack Of Control
Regardless of how you may be adding to the issue, the decision that they make to behave in an addictive manner is entirely up to them, and you have no influence over this aspect of their behavior.
If you cannot acknowledge that you have no control over the decisions and actions of another person, you are more likely to remain in circumstances that are harmful to you in the hope that the other person will eventually change.
Staying Tuned In To Your Feelings and Needs
Are you concentrating more on the addicted individual than on your own sentiments and requirements right now? Are you putting yourself to one side in order to focus on providing assistance to them? Are you giving up on yourself in the process of trying to convince them to stop giving up on themselves and causing themselves harm?
What changes would you make to the way you conduct yourself if you focused on how you felt and accepted responsibility for it? Do you find that most of the time you are feeling down, used, angry, or anxious? If this is the case, then you have no choice but to start looking after yourself instead of giving up and letting yourself fall apart.
Taking Loving Action
If you fully realize that you have no control over the other person and stop taking care of them or passing judgment on them, and if you tune into yourself and find that you are troubled as a consequence of this connection, then you have some difficult options to make.
It is of the utmost importance to have the realization that whatever is actually in your best interest is also in the best interest of everyone else. When you open the door for others to take loving care of themselves, you open the door for yourself to take loving care of yourself.
What are some examples of loving activities that might be directed toward the individual who is addicted?
- Joining the right 12-Step group may assist you in moving away from supporting the addicted individual and removing yourself from an unhealthy entanglement with them.
- Seek the assistance of trained professionals in order to repair your urge to control through caring for others or by passing judgment on others.
- Make contact with a qualified professional who is experienced in conducting interventions and who can bring together all of the individuals who are upset about the situation and are willing to cut off all contact with the addicted person until the individual enters a treatment facility or receives some other form of effective help.
- Make the decision for yourself that you will no longer interact with the family member as long as they are displaying the symptoms associated with their addiction. This implies ending the connection, which is something that may be extremely difficult for you to do. You may want to get assistance from a specialist to do this task successfully.
- Learn how to take care of yourself within the context of the circumstances, and learn to accept the other person exactly as they are, while also fully realizing that the addiction will continue.
After you have fully accepted your loss of control and dealt with your controlling behavior, you will be able to open yourself up to the possibility of learning about the loving action to be done on your behalf and on behalf of the addicted family member.
Boundaries and Addictions
Many of us have been in challenging relationships with one or more individuals who have been addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or some other unhealthy pursuit. These addictions may manifest themselves in a variety of ways.
How can we manage these challenging relationships, detect them when they first emerge, and safeguard ourselves from having similar ones in the future?
My lovely mother struggled with alcoholism all her life. One day, I had an epiphany about something that changed my life forever:
It is not always beneficial to maintain physical proximity to someone just because you have feelings for them.
The ability to separate your affections for another person from your knowledge of what is or is not good for you to be around is a skill that will prove to be of great use to you throughout your life.
In order for a relationship to survive, there must be both love (or at the very least, like) and healthy dynamics. If one of these things is missing from your relationship, it has the potential to make you miserable and possibly jeopardize your physical health, self-esteem, and safety.
In spite of this, it is in both of their best interests to go their own ways if they refuse to make any effort to rein in their addiction. Keeping up a connection with someone while their addiction goes untreated acts as a kind of reinforcement for the addict to keep using.
Arguing with them about their addiction does not have a substantial impact on them since they may continue to be hooked and behave poorly while still having a connection with you, even if you debate with them about it.
You may even be contributing to their support, so why should they stop depending on you? Because it causes addiction, its influence is significant.
If you have been in a relationship with someone who has an addiction, it would be very beneficial for you to decide on your boundaries now, so that you can address the issue with a clear head if it comes up again in the future. If you have not been in a relationship with someone who has an addiction, this advice does not apply to you.
The following are some examples of conduct that should not be tolerated in your interpersonal relationships:
- Whether they borrow money from you to pay for their addiction, or if they borrow money from you to pay for their necessities because they spent their own money on their addiction, both of these situations are examples of borrowing money for the wrong reasons.
- If the individual’s addiction stops them from being able to financially sustain themselves.
- In whatever manner possible, they lie about their actions in order to conceal the truth about what they are doing.
- Displaying any kind of cruelty or violence against you, regardless of whether or not they are intoxicated.
- Causing you to suffer loss of reputation or harm to your property.
- Long absences, particularly ones that are giving you a considerable deal of concern.
- Putting lives in danger by drinking and driving
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who is addicted, whether it be a spouse, family member, or acquaintance, you need to confront the matter right away. Do not let it remain in its current state if you want to have the most success.
You have no choice but to issue a last demand with accompanying repercussions. I strongly suggest that you inform them that until they enter an organized treatment program for their addiction, you will withdraw all support for them, sever your connection with them until they are able to get control over their addiction, and you will not allow them to live with you.
It will be more effective if you can gather other loved ones to offer the same message at the same time as you, and if you can do so, you should.
These are very challenging circumstances, but there are two things that you should keep in mind: first, you will be helping both yourself and them if you take care of your own emotional and safety needs; and second, the fact that you love someone does not mean that it is healthy for you to be with them. Love them despite their addiction, but keep your distance from them.
Conquer Addiction With Hypnosis
A person’s life might become completely dominated by their addiction. For instance, a successful businessman who is also an alcoholic runs the risk of losing everything, including his family, his reputation, and his company, as a direct result of the devastation caused by his alcohol addiction.
Alcoholism is only one of several crippling addictions that may negatively impact our lives in a variety of ways. Tobacco, food, prescription medicines, recreational substances, and even sexual activity are a few examples of others. When a person is struggling with addiction, the addiction not only influences their personal connections but also their professional relationships and a great many other aspects of their lives.
The life of a person is made more difficult and constrained when they are hooked on anything. To live a life free from addiction is to experience life in the way that it should be lived, the way in which we are born. There are several potential triggers that might lead to a person developing an addiction to a substance.
A low sense of self-worth, a traumatic incident, excessive stress, or just plain old poor judgment are some of the possible causes. If you are addicted to anything, I have no doubt that you have attempted to break the cycle of addiction and regain control of your life at some point. This may come easily to some individuals, but for the vast majority of other people, it is a hopeless struggle that never seems to end.
Hypnosis is a useful tool for breaking free from addictive behaviors. Hypnosis is a risk-free, non-intrusive, and very satisfying method of therapy. Hypnosis is effective because it acts at the subconscious level. When someone is put under hypnosis, they are put into a profound state of relaxation that lasts for the duration of the process.
During this stage of deep interaction, the subconscious mind is in a position in which it is very susceptible to new viewpoints and ideas. The user’s subconscious mind will be exposed to beneficial ideas that inspire the individual to imagine a life free from addiction. During the process of visualizing a life without addiction, the person may “feel” how much better their life would be without the addiction, which can have a very powerful effect.
During the time that a person is under the influence of hypnosis, that person is provided with positive reinforcement, motivation, affirmations that develop confidence, and a specific game plan to overcome their addiction.
The person will modify their bad behavior and thought patterns as a direct result of the good ideas that their subconscious mind receives, which promotes this shift. A person is able to win the battle against their addiction if they are willing to make this adjustment.
Hypnosis is an effective treatment for stress and anxiety because it has a soothing effect not only on the mind but also on the nerves and the whole body. Individuals who have been subjected to hypnosis tend to exhibit higher levels of both confidence and self-esteem.
As a licensed hypnotherapist who practices in the field, I strongly suggest that you look into hiring the services of a trained hypnotherapist in your region if you want to beat your addiction and make your ambitions a reality. Hypnosis may be able to assist you in overcoming your addiction and leading a life that is not only happier but also healthier and more fulfilling.