7 Ways to Overcome Grief After Losing Someone
It is difficult to write about the viewpoints and perspectives of professionals on how to move through sorrow since how we experience and respond to loss is such a personal and unique experience for each of us. Because of this, I have made the decision to share my story of how I overcame the unimaginable loss and anguish that I experienced throughout my life.
However, I do feel that the more you know about sorrow, the better educated you are and the more prepared you are for it when tragedy strikes.
I have included the mourning methods that are recommended to you by psychologists, therapists, and grief counselors to follow while you are going through the grieving process. These are the techniques that give helpful advice and a unique viewpoint on the grieving and healing processes.
My approach to dealing with loss isn’t always the best one for you, but my tale of overcoming the anguish of sadness and going on to live a full life may inspire you to take one day at a time and keep moving ahead with your life.
My Process of Overcoming the Pain of Loss
On the 27th of March 2005, my family and I were all together in a hospital room. I was in such agony that I had trouble breathing because of it. My mother had recently passed away, which came just three days after the passing of my father on March 24.
I can still vividly recall the early stages of my grieving process, when I would often ask myself, “How can I make this agony go away?” Why am I unable to stop sobbing? Why does no one get what I’m trying to say? Why can’t I be like everyone else?
I was unable to concentrate at work. I had no energy, and I simply wanted to get away from it all! I longed for things to return to normal in my life, but I didn’t want to forget about my parents in the process.
When I think back to the few months that followed the passing of my parents, I am aware that I was struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder at that time. I was completely clueless about how to process the emotional turmoil caused by my loss.
During the time that I was working through my sorrow, I may have been less critical of myself if I had been aware of post-traumatic stress disorder (PSTD). I wished that it would simply go away!
I Discovered Through My Own Tragedy: 7 Ways to Cope with Loss
In spite of how difficult this period of my life was, I managed to get through it, and the intensity of my sadness eventually lessened as time went on. I was able to learn how to live a full and joyful life despite my melancholy, and I came to terms with how I felt about it.
I would like to share these seven life lessons with you in the hopes that they will inspire you to appreciate the gifts of life, love, and laughter; to live your life to the fullest; to pursue your dreams; to concentrate on building your resilience; to seize the moment; and to live your life to the fullest.
1. The Healing Process Takes Time; You Can’t Hurry It
There will be times in your life when you feel like withdrawing from the outside world, climbing into bed, and pulling the covers up over your head. You should go ahead and do it.
However, I must caution you. Do not allow this temporary setback to serve as an excuse to withdraw completely from the outside world. If you give in and continue to hide, it will be much more difficult for you to claw your way out of the dark cave you are now in.
When experiencing loss, there is no one way that it should or should not make you feel. It is a fluid process, and the way it unfolds for each person is unique, so just go with the flow.
Don’t put up a fight. Be gentle with yourself and have faith in your own power and bravery; they are the “necessary elements” to your own recovery.
2. Because Your Life May Change Unexpectedly, Make The Most Of Every Moment
I’ve had a dream since I was young of working in the coaching and writing fields, but I kept putting it off. My life priorities shifted after the death of my parents, and as the healing process got underway, I started to feel positive about the future. My parents have always been my first priority.
I began writing gradually and methodically, and then I established a coaching practice, which launched me on the path that led me to where I am now, which is the director of a firm that specializes in coaching and recruiting.
3. Your family and Friends are the most valuable gifts in your life
When I was going through such a difficult time following the deaths of my parents, my friends and relatives were the ones who kept me going. Because I would not have been able to live or recover without the support of my family and friends, I gained a very useful insight into the significance of those relationships.
4. Make the Most of Your Ability to Choose—Make the Decision to Have Hope
The unfortunate events that occur in our lives are beyond our ability to prevent. However, since we have the freedom to choose how we respond to adverse circumstances, we are in control of our responses. The choices we make about how to live our lives will ultimately shape how those lives are lived out for us.
When we make the conscious decision to exercise our freedom of choice, we are proactively looking for ways to address the issues that we are required to confront. When we make use of our ability to make choices, we get the ability to realize how we can go ahead.
In order to make progress, we have to keep our hope alive for a better future, and optimism and a good outlook on life go hand in hand with hope.
5. Determine Your Life’s Raison D’être
Discovering your raison d’être is what gives your life its significance. Having a clear direction in life and being able to concentrate your energy on something offers you hope for the future.
Don’t let the process of discovering your mission make you feel overwhelmed. It is going to be a very long trip. Create a strategy, put that strategy into action, and don’t give up! Establish objectives that are attainable and practical, and move forward one step at a time.
Rejoice in your accomplishments whenever you reach a goal, no matter how small or significant it may have been. Celebrate it, and be sure to let the people you care about in on your accomplishments.
6. Don’t Let Your Past Rule Your Life
Your life in the past provided you with the opportunities to get the knowledge you need to navigate your life here and now. You can’t change the past, so you may as well make peace with it, accept it, and go on with your life.
It is a waste of your energy to focus on things that are not significant. Instead of concentrating on what you lack, try to appreciate what you do have.
Keep an eye out for situations that will allow you to learn more about yourself and develop your ability to trust and believe in yourself.
You are not the sum of your experiences, good or bad. You are now and, going forward, exactly who you make the decision to be.
Become the person who is strong, powerful, and resilient that you want to be. The one who has a positive outlook on life and is now leading a happy and fulfilling existence
7. Remain Courageous and Acknowledge the Unpredictability of the Situation
Life is a journey that is both bizarre and fascinating; it is full of both sad events and beautiful things. There is no escape from the difficulties that life throws at us; avoiding them is not the approach to coping with life.
If you try to get away from anything, the only place you can go is nowhere!
There Are Four Very Important Things You Should Know About Grief
The suffering caused by sadness is excruciating, and the only way to really understand the suffering caused by grief is to go through it ourselves.
However, if we have a better understanding of what to anticipate from the grieving process, we will be better able to ensure that we are aware of what assists us in navigating the experience.
The meaning of sorrow and the steps involved in the path to recovery became clearer to me once I learned these four truths about the subject.
1. “Secret Grief”
The death of a loved one is not the only thing that may bring on feelings of grief. Grief that is kept hidden from others is often referred to as “disenfranchised grief.”
In recent years, we have all been forced to deal with the effects of a pandemic on a worldwide scale. The devastating death of loved ones and the inability to be with them is something that many of us have experienced.
In addition to this, many of us have also dealt with worry about our future, the loss of a career, and financial loss.
The anguish of these losses, along with all of the unpredictability that now exists in our lives, has caused us to feel an immense amount of despair and grief. We need to identify and work through this sorrow, because if we keep it buried, it will have a detrimental effect on all aspects of our well-being, including our mental, physical, and spiritual health.
2. Losing A Loved One Is A Natural And Unavoidable Experience
Grief is a normal and natural aspect of the human experience, and it always will be. Because we have loved and lost someone or something in our life that had importance, it is a process that we have to go through. We have no choice but to go through it.
“Grief is the most normal emotional and physical reaction to any big loss,” says Basha Silver, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Silver Therapy Group. “Grief is a universal human experience,” she says.
3. Your Physical Body Grieves As Well, And It Requires That You Tend To Its Needs
Everything that we think and feel takes place inside our bodies, and going through the feeling of loss is no exception to this rule.
Dr. Julie Smith, a professional psychologist, writes in her book titled, “Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?” “The death of a loved one is a major psychological and physical hazard.”
The suffering may manifest itself both emotionally and physically. “The stress reactions are activated again and again.”
Our bodies are on high alert, and there is a significant risk that we may suffer from PSTD. It is essential that you look for methods to give your body the opportunity to relax and deal with the discomfort.
I found that engaging in physical activity, using deep breathing techniques, and going on long walks helped me cope with the physical aspects of my loss.
4. Pretending That Your Loss Does Not Exist Will Not Help You Heal
Because of my personal experiences, I am aware that attempting to ignore or dismiss my feelings of loss was very detrimental to my health.
During the first few months, I noticed that I was actively attempting to cut off contact with my loved ones and close friends.
I simply wanted to be left to my own devices so that I wouldn’t have to explain how I was sensationally feeling. In addition to that, I began drinking more than I normally did, which is not healthy at all.
Grief that isn’t dealt with may fester below the surface for a long time until it begins to emerge in a manner that is both physically and emotionally destructive to us.
Managing One’s Grief and Loss
In her book, Dr. Julie Smith takes a realistic approach to the difficulties that are inherent in life.
She gave an enlightening perspective on finding assistance to manage your sorrow in the segment that was devoted to the topic of bereavement:
“Let’s be clear about what it means to provide assistance. Things that assist do not make the hurt go away; they do not cause us to forget; and they do not compel us to let go of what we have lost.”
Finding out that the rollercoaster of emotions you are experiencing is typical is one step toward getting help, but it’s not the only one.
It might be learning new techniques to sit with the pain and work through it in a manner that is secure and conducive to good health.
I did that, and as time went on, I found that the depth of my sadness was no longer there 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I also ultimately discovered how to control my feelings of despair and live my life with an abundance of optimism.
A Few Parting Thoughts
The agony, the discomfort, and the difficulties of life will always be there for you, no matter where you go. It is OK to be a mess for a short period of time, but only for a short period of time.
Grief is a trying experience that won’t make you feel any better, but it will help you grow as a person and teach you valuable lessons.
Put some time aside for yourself. Strengthen both your willpower and your ability to bounce back quickly from setbacks in order to be mentally and physically ready to handle anything life throws at you.