10 Ways To Bring Happiness To Those Who Have Experienced Pain

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“There will always be suffering. There is no obligation to endure pain.”

It’s possible that someone has caused you bodily or mental harm. Perhaps you have prevailed over another harrowing experience, such as a natural catastrophe, a fire, or an armed robbery. You may have just emerged from a challenging circumstance, and despite the fact that you are aware that you will, in time, get better, the agony that you are now experiencing may seem insurmountable.

Regardless of the circumstances, you now have a scar, and you will likely carry it with you for a good portion of the rest of your life.

The vast majority of us are able, on some level, to empathize with what you are experiencing. Even those who are quite good at acknowledging their own faults and accepting responsibility nevertheless have at least one tale about a time when they were harmed. Although some of us have been through more severe experiences, it is impossible to define or compare the emotional suffering experienced by different people.

When a young woman’s heart is recently shattered, the anguish might seem like the end of the world to her. According to figures provided by Livestrong, one adolescent takes their own life every 100 minutes, and the number of suicides that occur in households with high incomes is comparable to the number that occur in families with low incomes.

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It is reasonable to assume that not all of those adolescents have been subjected to unfathomable catastrophes. The suffering they have endured as a result of a variety of challenges and predicaments is something they have in common.

Some individuals, when they see that you are in pain, may urge you to “let it go,” as if this is a reasonable answer to your problem. They could tell you that “it’s all in your head,” and they might presume that this would make the agony go away. But none of that will help you recover and will prevent you from finding pleasure in the here and now.

I, like everyone else, have experienced pain, and it may range from minor to severe. It was necessary for me to first recognize and then work through my emotions before I could let go and go on. I had to first acknowledge and then process my sentiments. I was able to do it with the aid of the following.

1. Recognize Your Pain

It is not always easy to recognize and comprehend what it is that is causing you pain. Some people choose to remain in abusive relationships because they believe it is safer than to acknowledge the multiple layers of pain they are experiencing. These layers include the low self-esteem that leads them to believe they deserve abuse; the shame that comes from being treated with such cruelty; and the feeling of hopelessness that leads them to believe there is no real way out.

Understanding why you were wounded and getting to the bottom of everything that contributes to the difficulty of remembering the experience is the first step in regaining your happiness after experiencing pain.

2. Allow Yourself To Feel And Express Your Anguish

There is no assurance that you will be able to convey your emotions to the person who wronged you, and even if you are successful in doing so, there is no assurance that they will react in the way that you would want them to. Anyhow, say what you need to say. Write in your journal. You should write a letter and then destroy it. Get everything out.

Because of this, you will have a better understanding of why you are suffering and what you will do in the future to prevent experiencing pain of a similar kind. As a result, you will feel more powerful and less like a victim.

It has been shown via research that those who pay attention to the insights they get through journaling perceive the activity to be more beneficial than those who do not.

3. Make An Effort To Concentrate On The Here And Now

It’s easy to become hooked on rehashing old memories. It provides you with the option to do it again and react in a different manner; for example, to fight back instead of yielding, or to speak your opinion instead of censoring yourself. Additionally, it enables you to maybe comprehend things on a deeper level. What came to pass? Where did you go wrong? What actions would have been more appropriate?

No matter what you believe you should have done in the past, you are unable to change the present situation. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, you may need the assistance of a professional to keep from thinking about what happened to you. In the event that you do not, you will need to exert consistent effort. Fight the temptation to keep reliving the agony over and over again. You won’t be able to find happiness there if you go back. Only at this very moment can you have that experience.

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4. Please Refrain From Restating The Narrative

Sometimes, in order to prevent ourselves from moving on from the past, we retell a tragic narrative over and over again.

It may appear that there is another way to understand what has happened, or it may be comforting to have someone tell you that you did nothing wrong and that the pain you are experiencing is not your fault.It is acceptable for you to require that for a short period of time.

However, if you continue to do this over a period of years, you will find that you are unable to move on from the past and will give it more influence over your life.

There is no use in trying to reassure someone about something that cannot be undone. If you refuse to let go of a troubling past experience and allow it to dictate how you live your life, you will never discover true happiness. The only way to achieve happiness is to let go of the past and create a place in your life for something greater.

If speaking about your experience gives you confidence and helps other people, you should definitely consider doing so. Your current mental and emotional state, as well as whether or not discussing your experience is helpful or harming you, can only be known by you.

5. Be Willing To Forgive Yourself

Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong, but you blame yourself. Or it’s possible that you had some hand in bringing about the circumstances you find yourself in now. No matter what happens, you have to accept the fact that your actions do not define who you are as a person. And even if you have a tremendous amount of remorse, you still have the right to begin this day free of the burden of that mistake. You have earned some time off.

You have the option of either punishing yourself and resigning yourself to a life of suffering or forgiving yourself and opening the door to a life filled with joy. It all boils down to whether you want to linger or move on from the situation. Which path would you prefer: harboring resentment toward yourself, which would result in ongoing suffering, or forgiving yourself, which could lead to peace?

6. Stop Blaming Others And Blaming Yourself

It’s possible that you were a victim. Perhaps you were the victim of a terrible act committed by another person, or perhaps you found yourself in a precarious situation through no fault of your own. You are doing yourself no favors by wallowing in self-pity and placing blame on others if you continue to do so. In point of fact, it will simply slow you down. If you choose to focus your negative emotions on the behavior of another person at this time, you will not feel well.

The only way to ensure that you get to live a happy life is to accept responsibility for making it happen, regardless of whether or not other people make things easier for you. You are not accountable for the things that have occurred to you in the past. Nevertheless, you are responsible for the way you are behaving right now. Why should you give someone who has wronged you in the past the ability to affect your life now?

7. Don’t Allow The Suffering To Define Who You Are As A Person

Moving on will be more challenging for you if everything you do and every interaction you have revolves around something that has caused you pain. You may even start to like what that identity brings you, whether it be attention, the appearance of understanding, or the warmth of compassion, for example.

You need to give some thought to the likelihood that completing the release of your narrative may provide you with a higher feeling of enjoyment. That if you stopped letting your misery define who you are, you would feel so much better than you could even fathom. You may have a tragic event in your history without letting it define who you are in the here and now.

8. Reestablish A Connection With The Person You Were Before The Suffering

When you’ve been carrying around an identity of suffering for a long time, it may be very challenging to let go of that pain. It may be helpful to recall who you were before that incident, or it may be helpful to think about who you may have been if it hadn’t happened to you. You are still capable of becoming that person, namely, someone who does not feel as resentful or angry as often.

If you want to feel at ease and content, start by figuring out what it is you think about, what you do, and how you engage with other people. This is the first step to achieving your goal. This procedure will probably remind you of both the ways in which you want to be and the ways in which you do not want to be.

9. Put Your Attention On Things That Give You Pleasure In The Here And Now

It is not necessary for you to concentrate on entirely letting go of your suffering for the rest of your life; all you need to do is create a place for pleasure right now. Begin with the fundamentals. What is it that you may take pleasure in right now, despite the suffering that you’ve been through in the past? Would you find happiness in just basking in the sun? Would you find happiness in giving your sister a call?

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Don’t let your mind wander to the fullness of the remaining days in your life. That must be an enormous weight to bear; haven’t you suffered enough already? Just bring your attention to the here and now, and give yourself permission to have some serenity. When you pay attention to “nows” as they occur, you will be shocked at how quickly and effortlessly they may build up.

10. Be Generous With Your Happiness And Share It With Others

When we are in pain, we tend to withdraw inside ourselves because we believe that doing so is safer than exposing our fragility to other people. What we fail to understand is that there are times when we do not have to feel as if we are exposed. We have the ability to choose and select the individuals who will provide us with assistance and then to give ourselves permission to spend time with other people without sharing our difficult experiences with them.

You may give yourself a respite from your anger or unhappiness by sharing a meal, a movie, or even just a minute with someone else. It is not necessary for you to have it on your person at all times during the day. There is no need to be concerned; even if you believe you may need to recall it in the future, you will still be able to do so. But if you provide yourself opportunities to enjoy moments of tranquility alongside the individuals you care about, you can discover that you want that narrative a lot less.


To be quite clear, you have every right to feel whatever it is that you do. You don’t have to force yourself through the difficult emotions of grief or rage. Everyone needs time to think through their sentiments. But there comes a point in life when we have to make the decision to heal, let go, and go on with our lives. It will not be an easy process, but it will be one nevertheless. But you deserve it.

Everyone has the right to experience joy. Everyone has a right to some degree of tranquility. One additional element that unites us all is the fact that we are the only ones who can supply those things for ourselves.

Your MASTERY OF LIFE begins the moment you break through your prisons of self-created limitations and enter the inner worlds where creation begins.

-Dr. Jonathan Parker-

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